Sometimes I write how I feel inside
Sometimes I write what's on my mind
Sometimes I write how I try to hide
Sometimes I write what to me makes life unkind
Sometimes I write how I try and try
Sometimes I write how I want to die
Sometimes I write how people think I'm quiet and shy
Sometimes I write about time passing by
Sometimes I write what I'm trying to find

First we left the EU
and the prime minister didn't know what to do
he left us with an empty number 10
and a handful of homophobes to fill it in.
Finally we were making progress
after hundreds of years of unacceptance.
Now the economy's a mess
and we have no defence.
We seem to be going backwards
but no one ever said 'trust a politicians every word'
Regression of the UK
lies told every day
building up hope
then the day after we hear nope
'I didn't care for politics
I'm just a overly patriotic *******'
So every thing will stay the same
and the UK will waste away
because of a bunch of lies
and hundreds of people terrified
for their future.

Mum
why won't you listen?
when I say I had a panic attack
you say 'don't be stupid, just because your friend gets them doesn't mean you do'
I can't help it, I close my mind off and denied the fact this happens because you think it's a choice
but I have one question why the **** would you want to feel like you're going to pass out or not be able to breathe? And what person would pretend this happened?
So I had a panic attack
you say 'stop being stupid'
I can't talk to you without you thinking I'm acting or you being ignorant to the point where I feel like I'm worthless and you don't care.

It's sports day
it should be fun
there's no way
anything could go wrong...

but it did
during rounders my shoulder became irritated due to a previous problems during swimming.
200m sprint well I was put down for 400 but I did 200 instead. All went well I was in the lead from the beginning
but when I finished I wasn't tired like I usually am and was about to pass out.
I was told to sit down but didn't realise what I was on about.
Eventually I got away from the crowd still unable to breathe properly
and threw up, calmed down, nearly passed out with the help of nobody.

Low days that get lower.
When you want to go home
but the day goes slower
and you feel alone.
No one knows what you're going through
they see you every day
and see right through you
nothing ever goes your way.
You feel like nothing's in your favour,
you are alone but not in the way you want to be
wishing you had a razor
but your think... do I really want to bleed.
It's a bad day thats getting worse.
You're lost in what to do
there's no way to rehearse.
You just have to exist for now even though you don't want too.

Something changed
it was a new kind of pain
I don't know why
watching people run with bulls
being injured for no reason
other than to look 'masculine'
seems so pointless that it hurt
it was so painful it felt like my chest was closing
like I couldn't breath but I was
it wasn't a panic attack
I was having a bad day
I was tired
I wanted to go home
but watching something so pointless hurt so much and I don't know why.