Sliced from forehead to toe-tip
i am the naked
revealed.
what is seen cannot be reversed,
for all your scarves and blindfolds.
And I fear, sir,
That you have seen my soul.
In crowed rooms you hunted me,
singled out my tattered being for your prey.
I prayed like the mantis
to a mythical power for salvation,
but your eyes, relentless as your hands,
made me beneath you and before you,
to come undone.
If smite i could,
trust this; I would.
you are no kind soul
looking to help the weary traveler.
you are, as ever,
the vulture in disguise.
I am coming to believe
there exists nothing else.
I am only of worth
as long as i am of use.
And lately i only feel useless.

I never blink.
I am small and curious
and move only of my own volition,

When you shut your eyes
you think you see me.

I will hide from you
in crevices of the mind
you still have no conception of.

I am all you ever lost
down the back of the sofa,
on the street drunkenly at night,
between your lover's tangled sheets.

I will cut you down.

I am small and cold,
i shimmer in the moon's dim glow
You can only make out,
that which i prescribe.

I am ethereal.

let me just say,
i am sorry.
for all the nights
i got too drunk to move
so i would not have to feel.
for the days
i swallowed away pills
to numb myself
into acceptance.
for the summers i spent
planning how to
**** myself.
for the winters
when i'd hide away.

I have grown tired,
After only a short twenty years,
Of being something for your eyes.
Tired of slurred compliments,
Uttered from behind glazed eyes,
And catching eyes flick up
from where they had been stuck-
Wow! This person has *******!

Sick of hearing calls and jeers,
shouted from across the street,
from inside of a car,
from the base of an over-sexualised,
and over-sexualising brain.

And so in an attempt to remove myself from such *******,
I have been de-sexualising myself.
I wear long, ill-fitting trousers,
Baggy tops, and thick Doc Martens.
I pull up hair up,
Put my glasses on,
I do not bother with make-up.
I glare and I scowl.
Yet still unwanted attention
Has been able to find me.

Still you grab and grasp at me,
As if I were but a toy at your disposal.
I turned to one,
and looking in his eyes,
I clearly said "No.".
A dog, a child, a human,
Would have understood me;
Yet he did not.

I turned again when his hands didn't stop.
"*******, I said No."
"Slap me, baby, I'm sorry!"
He leered, not sorry in the least.
"I'm not going to hit you.
I'm saying no,
and you're going to respect that."

He left for a moment,
Only to return as handsy as before.

I tell you honestly,
I have no idea
What more I'd need to do
To get some people to see me
Not as a real-life *** toy,
But as a *******
human
being.

On growing up
And past and through it all,
I have been learning.
Learning to push my roots down,
and spindly arms
Up high towards the light.

You see,
The most important thing
In the world
Is to remember.

You've been here before.
To this same dark night,
Or at least many like it.
To these same grey days,
Where clouds cover
All positivity from your soul.
You've been here before.

And what happened before,
Is what will happen now.
The most important thing,
is to remember.
The dark never lasts forever.
The sun always returns.

I wish i could talk in techni-colour.
I feel sorry for you,
If you can't see this.
If can't see, you'll never know it.
That's what death is going to be like;
And oh what fun it will be.
This is reality.
All the wavering and movement
Of everything around us.
And the fact that nothing is separate.
We are not islands,
we are a connected continent,
joined beneath the water,
Of our day to day lives.

You can die from their tears
I check the board to find out
who has passed away the previous night
  and then don my personal protective equipment
  Everything has been rigorously sterilised
 I have forty five minutes to treat and care
  as we sometimes collapse from heat exhaustion      
  I care for the weakest
  first  those who cannot move from their  blood
   **** and *****
  They look at me with such pleading sorrowful eyes
  babies, children, adults, , some have the courage to smile
  I smile back with my eyes
Care is compressing and feeding
to keep up their strength
They must fight this devastating disease alone
  I disrobe and painfully flick my elastic band
  every time I touch my face
We sterilise and sterilise but you can never be sure
  Rarely there is a ray of sunshine
  I have been singing and dancing with little Kaita for days
  behind the yellow fence
  and now she is free to go home
We celebrate any little victories to carry on
  Dear God, I beg you, please make terrifying Ebola gone


  This poem is a tribute to those with Ebola and the thousands of workers who  help them. In January cases are set to rise to a staggeringly sad 1.4 million.

No more fighting ghosts in the night,

No more judging my motives, stupid or right.

Time to relish the sun, shine in the moon, shiver in starlight,

Wish i could fly on a broom.

Wrapped up in Autumn i kiss winter hello.

Steep myself just deep enough that i eat bubbles as i go.

Then merge completely into darkness, and make art with the union of bitter and sweetness.

Drink deep my love,
         My cup is brimming,
and my love is abundant and ever flowing,
    My life a swift river of shifting choices,
All of them blessings, like contented sleep noises,
ever breaking mornings.