nevaeh

nevaeh Nov 2020

no note

just
i love you
for the last time

nevaeh Nov 2020

they say
everything is made
with a purpose.

i believe
that i was not meant to love
(or be loved)
i was not made to live

maybe my existence
is just a sick ******* joke
that the gods(?) are playing

maybe im meant to be a story
one better told than lived

maybe the world needs something to end
before it begins

maybe i need to die
to let others live

either way i can't ******* do this

#life #death

nevaeh Nov 2020

monologue

"Is today a good day to die?"

that's it.
seven words.
seven words that brought
every lie i have been telling myself
crashing into the ground.

ten minutes
of stuttering and forgotten lines
ten minutes to sum up the last 2 ******* years of my life

ten minutes to remind me
that i can't ever save you
that you'll never be mine
that i'll never be the same
because of seven stupid ******* words
and all the ones i can't say.

im losing my ******* mind here

nevaeh Nov 2020

cant breathe

every inch of me
is breaking
and i am so very far
from being okay

everything hurts

#breathe

nevaeh Nov 2020

the.world/is_ending

can't you find
inspiration in the demise?
don't you look and see
all the aching, ugly, pain
behind our eyes?
can't you tell
these broken people
are the makers and creators
of the motion and chaos
that makes this world so
fine?

can't you see
that this pain
is meant to be
beautiful?

can't you see that i am meant to die?

#beauty #pain #art #emotion

nevaeh Nov 2020

hands

not feminine
not delicate or sweet
my hands were not made for gentle things

i have long fingers
and aching bones
my joints are ******
my knuckles are bruised
my skin is scarred

my hands were not made to be beautiful
they were made for communication and creation
they were made for climbing and fighting
they were made to make things beautiful
and for appreciating the things that already are

lemme touch ur soul and ill make it pretty

nevaeh Nov 2020

the difference between alone and lonely

i don't talk to people
don't "hang out"
or bring them home.
i don't make connections
because they always break
and i'm too ******* broken already

i'm not lonely.
i have friends that care about me,
people looking out for me,

i just keep them at a distance.

i'm just fine
being alone
and not lonely

#alone #lonely