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do not love me
i will only disappoint you

do not love me
i will only bring you suffer and sadness

do not love me
i will shatter all your hopes and dreams

please, do not love me

because i need it so much
for someone to hold me tonight
one day i will disappear
without a name
without a history

i won't leave any trails
for you to find me

because the truth is
i died a long time ago
am i still holy?
am i still wholly yours?

i walked among your men
carried your weapons
your truths
your beliefs

the ground under my feet
is burnt ash now

am i still holy
as i am now
soaked in blood
of your
my
our
enemies

am i still yours
if the body
i have embodied
for so long
doesn't feel right

doesn't feel
at all

'there's a betrayer'
i hear them whisper it
eyes lurking
fists clenching

they are hungry beasts
restless
on the endless run

they circle me

my eyes are the betrayer
their are the judge
guilty or not

the decision
will be made
as it has been
many times before me
before you
before us

my breath is steady
as i know now

i am as unholy
as i am not yours
she must be the wish eater
i've heard so much about

she listens as you speak
patiently
then cracks a gentle smile
and seals your voice with a kiss

all your dreams slither down her throat
and her lips taste as the richest wine
you ever touched
you could ever imagine

she is the wish eater
all grace
sharp eyes
smooth movements

'oh lady, please, I want the sun
it's warm and bright
and it calls to me'
i hear a little boy whisper to her

and so again she smiles
and leans to him
and plants a kiss on his forehead
'oh little icarus it will be yours'

the boy flies out all joy
and blooming youth

she is the wish eater
her dress the crimson red
as is her lips
as is her touch
when she approaches me

'so tell me what's the wish
you want to never wish for'

her voice sounds like
the song of ancient ages
all soft and cruel if you dig

i dream of many things
too many if you'd ask me
of whispers in between the sheets
of saddest smiles at night
of birds that sing at spring
of stars that shine so bright

the sun was one of them
the boy was one of them
she's one of them
i dreamed it
whole

as i am
the wish giver

'sometimes I wish to never wish at all'

— The End —