Growing up and knowing you give me sighs of bliss,
Didn't you say we're Patroclus and Achilles?
That  we are one soul abiding in two bodies,
Just for you, my best friend, I will make a promise.

You said that if Patroclus' fate's same with mine,
You'll try to make Achilles' fate same with thine
Our corpse lying next to each other would be sign,
Of a true, intimate friendship that is sublime.

Bringing those memories we made in Macedon,
The celebrations of battles we've always won,
I never lost, because I'm with you, Hephaestion,
My only defeat's when I lost you and you're gone.

I am just a general, and you are a king,
We have this love, but this love can do us nothing,
Love is not all that both of us will be needing,
You need an heir, we need wives we'll be marrying.

But even though now I have an heir and a wife,
It would be still you and me in the afterlife,
Even if it means I will be stabbed by a knife,
I'd love you, even this kind of love is not rife.

But even if we died and left this world early,
In separate deathbeds, we made love intimately,
Even if I made my last hurrah without thee,
You kept that promise, that nobody promised me.

When I pack my bags and leave,
Dear, don't think I really want to go,
It's just hard for me to believe,
The love you speak but never show.

And if I go, would you ask me to stay,
And eventually learn how to love me?
I guess, you'd just watch me fade away,
Because for you, letting go is easy.

When I pack my bags and leave,
Dear, please remember that I tried,
But giving up is not just for the naive,
In love, even the strongest could get tired.

I am not that kind of girl that all of your friends would talk about,
And probably not the kind of girl that other girls would be jealous of.
I'm not the girl who could confidently show off her skin at the beach,
And not the girl that could look flawless in pictures.

But you know I'm the kind of girl who would do anything for someone who matters most- you.
Because I don't care if they'd like me or not,
I can't be the girl that they want.
But I'd definitely do my best to be the girl you love.

Sometimes, I want to ask you about how you feel about me.  
I want to ask you if you love me but, I just don't have the guts to ask you.
Maybe you're too busy to answer.
Maybe you're not in the mood to answer.
I'm just scared to mess things up.
For I messed up several times,
And I thought you'd love me less,
Or leave me.
But I'm glad you didnt.
I'm glad you didn't give up.
But I know,
The time will come when you can no longer put up with the mess I make.
One day, you'd probably ask yourself, "is she worth it?"
And maybe, you'd just ignore me.
Maybe, find someone who's worth it.
And maybe, you'd finally be with someone who asks less.
And maybe I'd end up with nothing
But, all the mess I made.
But guess what?
And I would still find joy with that.
Because whenever I see these mess,
I know,
I tried.
I loved.

If everything does not make sense,
I hope you would still understand,
I am trying my best,
This is my first time.

Of all the things in this world,
The most difficult thing for me to write about is love,
I have been into relationships,
But I have never been in love.

All I know are tragic things,
I had this urge to write about love
But what do I know?
I have never been in love.

Yes,  I had relationships but I have never been in love,
Ask me a thing about how love feels, I wouldn't know,
I'm sorry that after all these years, all I have ever been are lies
And not in love.

And now, I just realized I made a poem about love-
maybe bitterness.