He kisses her softly and makes her weak
Holding her like a fragile bird
Tender emotion that wants to flow out to the wild sea
Delicate a heart very much wounded
So many unfulfilled dreams
Maybe this is why she is so quiet
There is no execution upon the departure
Because in love nothing last forever

I’d forget the future but what about my past?
I’m a contradiction so I have been told
Just want to slow it down and take a look at me
Perhaps a quiet solitary place in the woods
Where I can be free
No conforming to what everyone expects of me
Just me
Maybe then I will remember why I’m here
If the past is  going to disappear
I may not be sure what to do

My soul expires soon

Chains of tears
Sickened with fear
As my journey fades
Sprouting wounds full of shame
Your skeletal exhausted hips
Praying at there reflection
Getting closer to slipping in the dirt
The explosive truth is unavoidable

Rain-less lips and disintegrating teeth
Your gaunt face that I barely recognize
Your bloodless eyes are rendering
I stroke your emaciated limbs
Trying to recall you in my head
You were so lovely
You were my home
Bones barely breathing
As the distance begins to climb
The years become fogged
As I'm swaddled  in this mystic cocoon

My mindset is collapsing
Sketching the onset of my madness
Crestfallen demons have become my destiny
On the battlefield of life
Warped with distemper

I stand in your eyes
Looking out for the whole world to see
With the fabric of death staring at me
Its just you and me
On the edge of heaven
Mending distances as we begin
Ghastly gray hours littered my ears
Intensly intrusive and ******
The shadows spill stringently
Stamping the sky with feelings of insufficiency
The bitter breeze dreamers, protesting for peace
Beyond all countries and downward dreams
We heave our head, heart, and soul

The handfuls of gestures surrender the way
A taut twine traveled behind
With waves coiling and bending my mind
Dying eyelashes recaptured my memories as they danced upon my face
A once swollen spirit is a ripped fragment away
Consenting with out my say
Death burst your core
The life of limbs, once excitable and strong
A strong windswept set my ambivalence at bay
As I lay trembling, Soft secrets are told
Relief from bottomless sufferings
Loved ones long lost reunited with me
My tounge has say much to say as words sail
As the wisps of heaven begin to show me the way

My tears are becoming a sea just for me
I can gather them place them in my heart
Watch them cause a wave so large that its exposes my heart
I often wonder if anyone can see them perhaps just me
These words I whisper that sit on my tongue
Are they just here to stay?
When I close my eyes for the very last time
Will I be alone?  This I may deny
My eyes lids will flood with just one kiss
Where stars fall and meet the earth
Your skin will be my flight
I will dive into the clouds
Radiate the sun
Beams of hope will impress me so
The water will still flow
In circles I shall run
With your funeral suit and everyone gathered around
Slit the wrists with everyone
Conform to all the beliefs that you don’t even know
People will stand and speculate
But all along I just laughed

Using the bailer to unload my anguish
Like when I was a small child
As the warm shore roughly views the mainland
Where I'd  sail free
Having to use the compass to find my way
I aboard yet I'm drifting away
I see a moon I don't recognize
The curves of the waves seem to fall apart
Running from the ship
Enduring my  pain

A splintered continent
A land of romantic eras
A much needed travel
We rose above the mountains in a land all of our own
We receded oceans, blowing through  storms
Making love in the rain with an exhilarating electricity
A million quiet cries touching your skin
Rekindling unwritten melodies
A stunning twinkle ignites a colorful connection
A season of raw fantasy, laughing and existing
Unwritten dreams falling into the summer breeze
Feeling flames with wildflowers
Beneath your auburn hair I reside
I simply breathe a ghost of silence and smoke
I forsake my identity in this pitted, sheer, beautiful, fractured tragedy

People call me Crazy
I reply lonesome bones

I sink with horror into my own corner
The shadows begin to devour my sorrow
As the wind rises
My skull screeches without a sound
The journey lets me down
I wait for the flowers that will never arrive
Your my fatal flaw
Hunger embellished in your claws
As the towering tree twists
Pulling my breast consuming the breeze
Tasting my tongue ,  I have something to say
I dismantle my thoughts with my finger tips
Bitter and bleak
I unravel the crumbling tears that fall
As my spirit withers
A colorless blanket of fall

I put on my Sunday best
Wait by the door have my bible rest  at my side
With my skinned up knees and little party dress
Today is my birthday I feel extra nice
My mother polished my shoes and bought me fancy ruffled socks
I await with anticipation to head to my church
A place to feel protected this I’m sure
It is such a warm day I feel the sun kiss my youthful skin
Can’t believe I’m twelve today
Thoughts race through my head
I wonder if they will remember and do something special?
Will I get a new bible for mine is tattered and the cover is torn
I wonder? It does serve the purpose so maybe not
I watch the cars go on by  one by one
Feeling a bit antsy maybe they forgot to get me today
But within a few minutes I’m on my way
With a happy birthday from some fellow church members
I feel so proud twelve years old time flies by  
We head into the house of God
I could hear the bell charming oh so loud
My favorite sound on Sunday morning
My stomach starts to growl it distracts me
Punch and cookies await for me
Church hymns begin to waken my ears
I fiddle with the lace  on my new pretty dress
Clicking my heals and accidentally hit the wooden bench
I’m in the house of god
Mommy always taught me to not entertain myself with other thoughts
So I focus on that white and black collar
He is so large standing like a king
One bead at a time let my fingers dance across
I think of sunflowers and rainbow colors
We stand up and sit down and repeat this again
Its time for fellowship to begin
I need to get myself a drink its stifling hot in here  
I tell the family that brought me here that I would be back in a bit
I skip to get a drink that water is so cold
Why do I like drinking out of a fountain? Is it  because it tickles my nose?
After cookies and punch I’m told I have an extra surprise
For today I can get a ride home
I see the black and white collar its looks so scratchy
But this is Gods house and he does what’s best
As  people say goodbyes and I sit and wait for my surprise
Maybe because momma can’t afford much I will get something nice
Its peaceful as the church hymns are gone

I have never been in here when it is silent
He tells me to sit down and gives me a drink
It taste familiar maybe that wine that only those who had communion can taste
I drink it down so fast it makes me a little dizzy
Perhaps it’s the heat in this building
The fans seemed to be broken on the hottest of Southern days
Father tells me my dress is pretty
I smile politely waiting for a surprise
He ask if my socks are new and I reply with a very loud excited “Yes “
What have I done to get the attention like this?
My best friend had a birthday two Sundays ago
What did she get?
I hear mommas voice run in my head don’t entertain yourself in the house of the Lord
So I close my eyes for a moment or two
So I hear today is your birthday , that makes you a special girl
I nod my head still feeling a little loopy
May I take your picture for the church paper?
You look so pretty but first take your hair down
I release my braids one at a time
My hair is wavy and long and so baby fine
I show off my socks so proud of them
He smiles at me with his  bright smile
Can I see you twirl around in your Sunday best ?
I giggle and spin in a circle or two
Smile he tells me so I do
Come sit here I sit upon a desk
I must be special to be up here
Father asks to see what’s under my dress
I ask why but know father knows best
For a quick moment I lift my dress
Feeling my face become flushed
Its alright you’re the birthday girl
I ask if I get a bible he says after were done with pictures and such
I sit quietly listening to his voice its deep but soothing
My feet don’t want to hold still
I try and be polite and use my manners just like momma likes
He has his fingers stroke my face they are soft but large and feel nice
May I give you a birthday kiss? I have seen my elders  kissing and practiced on my doll
This wont be wrong we are where god lives
His lips graze mine slowly at first
Then it becomes harder and he is full of thirst
These hot Southern days
His face feels like sand paper like grandpa has to make his Christmas gifts
It warms me suddenly then cools me down
I feel a burning between my legs it aches
He reaches for me my wavy hair resting in his hands
I feel so special but keep wondering what my gift will be
He gives me another drink of that pretty red stuff
Giving me sips slowly as he grips the cup
It spills down my lips a little at a time
But we don’t waste any he drinks it from my chin
I feel as though I suddenly forgot how to breathe
There is something under my slip of my dress
It makes me at ease
At night when I go to sleep and put my head on the pillow
I feel that kind of rest
There is an sensation in my chest
He reaches up and pinches these small pink eraser like dots
A noise is able to escape it’s a noise I have heard before
Through closed doors but never from me
He takes off my dress slowly and meticulously
I don’t want to rip my new dress or the slip that grandma made
His mouth finds my little mounds of pink and nibbles away
He makes no sound I finally breathe
As colors start to run down his neck and onto the once white crisp shirt
He removes it . I want to touch it feel it around my neck
Its just paper with cloth but he allows me this
So I stand with my *****  pink erasers and this collar
I wonder am I a man of God now?
He asks if I would like to see why he is a man
I apply yes use my manners so nice
He takes my hand and puts it on a warm hard lump that is escaping his pants
I’m not scared I feel safe
He takes out the thing that makes him a man and he wants it against my face
My birthday present at last
Father is careful placing it  on my lips
So I try and kiss it like its one of my dolls
I feel kind of silly so I ask him how
Like a ice-cream take your time
Go in circles over this spot
So I do and it grows I try and put it in my mouth
My lips are sore and I need a drink
He laughs at me and gives me more red drink
I want you to lay down he says to me
So I do and feel like I have been on a merry go around
He removes my flowered printed *******
My stomach starts to feel woozy  
But I still feel good
I’m twelve today he is so impressed
I lay down with butterflies in my chest
At first it hurt his finger exploring me
But then it was like a warm day and a cool breeze washed over me
It kind of tickled when he put his tongue there
I giggled and moved my hips
But something happened that felt like my favorite candy
My body wouldn’t quit moving beneath his face
I shivered and wondered am I getting sick
Then just like that it was over
He flipped me around and put his fingers in another place
I was kind of worried that I done something wrong
He reassured me that I was doing fine
Something felt warm on my behind
He told me its going to hurt but it will be alright
I felt a pain that heard a sound  
His rough deep voice maybe this is where he belongs
For a moment I didn’t breathe
I held back the tears because I’m twelve a big girl
He turns me over once again takes my tears and put them in his mouth
He was looking for salvation he drank every last one
So as I lay thinking of rainbows and the evening sky
He has some fluid that I drink like the wine
It tasted like nothing but was thick and made me feel shy
But as we finish he hands me a new bible I tear a page and wipe myself dry

He died you hated him
He beat you ******
Mean *******
Mom gave you his compass
Always come back son
If she only knew you would never return

I inhale the fragile fields
With secrets in my stomach
Tangled in the corner of gods throat
Quiet hours in a angels room
Fresh kisses of fate
The remains of the memories will set me free

Throat of my spine
Place my bones on a ledge
As my lungs of trepidation is bruising the sun
I'm crumbling without a shield
Attempting to speak as my vocal cords are severed
Taking what I have left and leaving

The lights dance across the bar
As I wait
I don't want to shine just for anyone
The gift I have to share is a sin  
I don't normally sleep around
But this heart of mine is gone
If you enter me I will be complete
I will grow weak
With your fingers like spiders nibbling at my spine
Making me crave your touch
And then I will be  a typical whiny ***** and complain
Why did you **** me?
Do you even care?
I'm such a fool
But who cares
As I ***** out the remnants of you out of my throat
I choke on the hollowness that lives in this place

I’m not perfect nor meant to be
I have hips that bear children and ******* to feed
Scars across my stomach that gave life to thee
A body that can easily sway
Loving hands that can nurture but also be free
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve
Through shadows on the wall in the hall
I hear you cry as you tiptoe towards me in the night
We just laid down and started to fall
I tend to your needs forgetting of my own
Its what a mother does even after the child is grown

Crowds die whimpering
The ocean starts to decease
Wounded by love
A sweet baby bird at peace
Where loneliness is real
And moonlight dances in the air
Silent affairs across the room
Exposing the scars that hound
My body is in a cage
That feeds the burn
When time tries to make us leave
There is nothing else left to give

Stretched pieces of my flesh
Gutting this zygote as it has already attached
A blood stream of bleach washes it away
Wounds clawing at the massacring ghost

The sound of passion
Proclaims to the sky sweet words of love
The  moon knows the whispers  of my  lips
Escaping the night
Dancing in my skin
Fall away from my body, face, and touch
Hands that hear me to sleep
Balance my tears on your fingertips
Holding the truth in this lost light
Preserving my wrongs

A flea market ring set my heart ablaze
Twisting around my finger like a hurricane
**** preaching to my childhood
Writing grocery lists on my hand
Leaving red kisses on long cigarettes
Playing a mouth harp listening to Simon and Garfunkel
Living by the words and touched the sound of silence myself
A love affair with the sky
I didn't  fathom mourning
It was a journey of my own

Sea pearls in my frail hands
Strawberry gold in my glass coffin
Champagne with still sparkle
A sweet love will exist
Obscure graffiti will continue to paint firefly nights
My stained glass eyes would soon be forgotten
Neon ghosts would speak out loud
Wild flowers and moon shadows
Frosty nights, sugar wildflower carnivals with still have rides
Magnolias will shimmer with pride
Some may bleed and go slowly
Watercolors of purple ice will waltz with the honey flies
The winds will bellow with urgency
Draw the curtains of the dark hued winds  
A dusk house of earths yarn
Hanging on by fingertips does not slow the *****
The fog straggles will push and pull
Our stories will remain on the walls
Its not the years its what is left behind
Where all so much more than we know
When that strength begins to fog  
Crackling flowers will adequately grow
Earth will yawn with a calling to come home
So many secrets we are frankly to tired to spill
At times the sweetness and zest is excused
Forest rose shells await
A true beauty of life is found
Death does not strip away your spirit
Honey dew smells invade your nose
Star filled nights may feel like stones in your throat
I see slices of you in the pane of my own essence
I will shield you as you retreat  into the dimness

Sipping on that juice
You are tripping
Screaming and laughing all at once
I'm flying getting my game on
Mystifying you be wearing your *** kicking boots
Smoking one, putting that roach in a jar
Popping vicodin  just to stay alive
Not even sure if I exist
Selling Adderall's so the ******* can stay skinny
Sweet little boy shot down on his big wheel bike
All I can do is grab the mic and send the message on
People on the street begging for money for addictions
******* **** just to get high
What if that was your daughter?
Hoping the soup kitchen is open
Do they have a empty bed for me to sleep tonight
Dressing in color
It's a true story this town is in demise
The water is not even safe to drink
Lake Huron to the Flint river
The town showing no love
Then Rick Snyder declares a state of emergency
The first person to come forward Sasha Bell
Was found murdered in her home as her small one year old son was left to roam
She had a law suit against the Flint water crisis
She is now silenced a baby without a mother
Nobody is winning here
90 people were sickened from exposer 12 died    
Delivering  bottle water to Veteran's, as they are losing there homes
People who have worked there whole lives
People just trying to survive

In the darkness with your honey colored skin
That was welted and warm
It surrounded me  
I knew how I felt
Quietly I said a prayer under my breathe
Let this be real make me alive
Eyes that felt like home just where I belong
Connected to you at last
Your lips taste exquisite
I sketched you several times in my head
You empower me
I erase all that I know
This blood that runs through me leaving me half dead
I need to let the past be anew

Letting you lay so peacefully and still
I ache with wonder what would I do
Fighting my urgency to rush
My fingers slowly find your *******
Then I travel to your place
Why are there tears are you in sorrow?
This well be so special you’ll feel good
Committed to the demon in my mind
I want to cut you and place you inside of mine
Don’t have to try and yell because nobody will listen

Your skin is delicate and free
I bet that nobody has ever tasted you
I want to float in your throat
Frustrated by the words that **** my mouth
I tried to make you numb
Perhaps you’re a little to resilient for me

I night dream, I day-dream
Falling everyday
As the distance calls for me
I'm trying to cling for growth
Yet , I'm searching for my obituary  
I memorized the words
A flower face with electric taste
Tiny shadow with a fierce force

Eating the night away
With Jack on my tongue  I forget my name  
Needles,patches and antipsychotics
On this exotic edge of my release  
My waist has never been thin
My ribs have never been a bird bath
I'm to hungry to stay alive
This hollow patched affair
The shape of  anxiety drowns me
Forcing all the air from my lungs
Lost  lovers and forgotten friends
Suddenly appear
Tasting my words like never before
Death is contagious
As everyone sits in the shadows  
I'm surrendering to the ghosts
I have made love to razor blades
Had affairs with whiskey and pills
Have danced over lines I said I would never cross

On my journey even the sorrow feels grief
As I collapse my sobriety
I try to bury the night
Full of glued eyes and swirled painted dreams
The white wind began to speak to me
Although the sunshine tried to compress  the inevitable
With measureless memories that would surround me
Quivering on the river round
My suffering is windswept out to the sea

Angels say goodnight for all eternity
Depths deepen as I collect the clouds
The heavens sprout a colorful substance I can't explain
Inside the gates I'm born slowly
As the ripped stones lead me to my path
I go forward and follow my flesh
The fluttering ghosts give me the gift of gold

Accomplished fingers stroking the strings
Vibrating the air, adjusting the stiffness
Ribs of willow securely placed between my knees
Enbowed and concaved
The amplification like ,embroidered words  
The flawless cello harmonious
As I grieve the instrument ,  I weep

When I go to sleep
I place my rib cage under my bed
My bones are heavy yet weightless
This is not the place to be
Burdened with a sorrow that devours me
It wont be long and my heart will follow
Pumping at the foot of my bed
As I lay still and hear the beat
I can feel the hesitation
I can taste the defeat

Beautiful stars, mourning the earths elements
Collecting the warmth from the colorful vines
A shadow in my throat, flowers, unstrung and unkind
Whimsical foreign pages, surrender and thaw

Beautiful twisting moments trapped in love
Crawling and reaching for cracks and stones
Smudges on the pavement of a fragile creation
Shrinking life's bone
Unmistaken

Pieces of lungs
Raging into hollow waves
The sand raining down
Wishes on the forsaken blue lips
The journey into deaths door
I just want to see it all fade away

Stone footsteps  with a bottomless hostility
Naked fingers gripping at the whispering thoughts
Windows of souls aching for control
An array of fury hovering around
A gripped tongue misunderstood
As mornings are raw and speckled
A portrait of my uncertainty, is becoming blind
Heaven is broken
Faith is behind
As the hazy mindfulness mist,  is transforming me
Hoping that this melancholy will sail away

Once we savored wonder
Untainted and innocent
But our thirst perished
A feverish illusion of hostility
Tears followed by memory
In a haze of righteousness  
A torrid uncertainty of misery as perceptions diminish
I segregate you
As the night falls in a sorrowful suffocating masquerade
We become souless
As we are afraid
The salvation for which we once sacrificed ourselves for
Flickers once, then dies
Devoured by a velvet somber nothingness
All hope must sicken and depart
Your essence thrives no more
Destructive thoughts surround us
Crying as we have lost our way

Winter is a fraud to me
I had no right to love her
Yet when we come together she incites me
As a child she kissed my frost nipped cheeks
Made igloo tears and iced up fuzzes

Then I caught sight of her with make up on her cheeks
She warmed me through and was awe-inspiring
Unbreakable and reassuring like an old friend
We said our farewell for this day  

It seemed as though time scampered away
She distressed me we had a quick chatter then we where on our way

Chilled to my marrow she stayed in the air
Becoming senseless at great lengths  
Beginning to distort my state of mind
I'm brain sick
The sun never seems to shine

My journey went astray

I hear whispers
I see death
I want freedom
I feel abandoned
I fear depression
I weep through life
I understand I'm lost
I speak poetry
I dream of earth
I desire balance
I may defeat this sorrow

When the others leave
The voices swallow me

A Sun sculpted face
Gentle lights
Guide me through the night
As the ink of nature dries
Praying into the skies with earth at my side
Dust of the flowers on my finger tips
Shadows upon my cheeks
Glowing stars born before our eyes
With a kiss of hope
You can see the gardens song
Faintly on the shore
It's a gleam that not everyone can see

Sparrows drinking from the creek
Heirloom ashes smudged onto the streets
Soul stacking grief

I miss someone
I never knew