Don’t go chase
It.

Don’t force
It.

Wait for
It.

Water runs
In a river beautifully,
From a faucet,
Empty.

It streams down,
Like crystal life.

Leading to a desert,
Arid, dry.

There is no one
There,
Still.

Just the memory,
Of something
Not meant,
To be real.

Are you afraid
To be seen?
With me…
Taking a hand,
Leading somewhere
New.

If you take this one,
Please be true.

You texted and talked....
Even slightly stalked...

You exalted praise...
What an ego raise...

You said you loved...
So I thought you loved....

You fussed and cared...
So I thought you cared...

You pledged you sweared...
And so slowly I dared...

I loosened the grip...
I let my heart trip..,

At first all said...
Was sweetness spread...

My thoughts my words...
Were chirping birds...

For hours and hours....
And hours and hours...

We’d talk and chat....
Timeless was that....

All of a sudden....
I turned to burden....

Abrupt it was....
Didn’t know the cause....

So bitter you turned....
My heart it burnt....

All sweet turned sour....
Every minute every hour....

It stabbed my soul...
Esse shaken whole...

I tried to reach...
To know to preach...

Just why and what...
That’s all I sought...

So vague so weird...
So strangely severed...

I longed so much...
For a wordly touch...

Please just one word...
I yearned for a word....

Silence only...
**** the melancholy...

It dawned on me..,
Just played did thee...

Those words were fake...
My mind did wake...

Metamorphosed am I...
Now I no more sigh....

Now am not the same.....
I evolved in your game....

Yes.
I am.
I truly am.
I am happy.

There’s always a quest.
A quest of there instead of here.
That instead of this.
Then instead of now.
That way instead of this way.
That one instead of this one.
But with all the “here”, “this”, “now”, “this way”, “this one” I am happy.
Coz that’s my recipe to be so.
Nothing different.
That’s the perfect composition of my life.

Yes.
I am.
I truly am.
I am grateful.

For all the imperfections as much as the perfections.
For all the failures as much as the successes.
For all the heartbreaks as much as the happinesses.
For all the wrongs as much as the rights.
For all the I don’t haves as much as the I haves.
For all the unanswered prayers as much as the answered prayers.

Coz that’s what makes me - me.

And I wouldn’t change a thing.

the last time i had felt safe
was the day before
it all happened the day before
my childhood and innocence
was taken from me without my consent

growing up i never really felt safe
not even when my parents told me
they would protect me from the monsters
because well
they never really did
because they didn't see the monster right next door

then i met you
and not in some cheesy lame way
but

i had a nightmare of that monster
as i lay in your bed with you
trembling, crying, begging
in my sleep
to have it all back
to have my careless childhood back

you awoke me
with your arms
wrapped around me
rubbing my head
reassuring me i was okay

and for the first time
since the age of seven
did i actually feel

s a f e

laying in your bed
talking about my past
you unwrap my wounds

so easily
so gracefully

thank you