i was a freshman
you were a senior
you didn't know me,
i didn't know you
but for some reason
i was infatuated
with you
you weren't even that cute,
i just, for some reason
i couldn't stop thinking about you
i got so sad about you
and i remember we would pass each other
in the hall
three times a day
and each time i would get
so nervous
i don't know why
you made me so anxious
and sad
why?
i will never know that myself
this infatuation with you,
it was so confusing
i will never understand it
and then came sticky june,
sunflower dresses and dr martens
and you left
of course you left,
you were a senior
and i was so sad about that
for some reason
i would never see you again,
i guess that's why
but at the same time i was
relieved
because you made me so nervous
i'm sorry,
senior boy
you never knew me
and i never knew you
but i still think of you
sometimes,
andrew

you're not actually french
obviously
you were just in my french class
and my friend and i
came up with that silly name
last year,
i felt like,
maybe
i had a crush on you
and if you ever found this
and knew it was about you
from me
i'd be so embarrassed
not because you'd know i might've
crushed on you,
but because i'm writing about
a boy who never thinks of me
but does anyone?
i don't know why i'm making this
so sad
it was hardly a crush
and you have a girlfriend
you flirted with me,
god it wasn't even flirting
i'm delusional,
but whatever you did,
you did it
and you said hi to me
and you were cute
i wasn't sure if i really liked you though
or if i was just lonely
and i guess we'll never know
because my feelings are gone
well
mostly
now i'm just thinking how
after this year,
i'll never see you again
and you won't say bye
we're not friends
so i'll just have to suffice
and wonder if we could've been anything
(not)
au revoir