My body is like the winter
Not cold, but barren
My heart is like a snow storm
Not only freezing, but icy chaos
My soul is like the winter
*Something you'll wish you never went through

I look upon the blade, will I
Test my theory of running
Crimson, that this blade
is the kiss of desperation.

It invites flesh upon its kisses
Of cold hard edges, I bleed my
Pain freely, it kisses the floor,
but then the moments of regrets
Whisper in to my thoughts.

I drink the venom of my despair
It tastes like nectar the honey
of life, but so much pours from
Me that I release it upon the floor,
Moments of my life.

With each drink I remember
life wasn't as bad as thought,
I drink my life but it still drains
From me. I have swallowed so
many moments but they just
collapse to the floor dead regrets
dead thoughts now lying upon the ground.

I’ve sat and thought about the things in life, that I’ve done wrong
The tears I've placed there in your eyes, the dreams that now are gone
I still recall the changing light, promises...
in the dawn
Now the years have passed us by, at times cruel sine qua non
Please do not believe that I’ve forgotten what was said
Those dreams we wished for in our youth, still trapped inside my head
Felicity, please understand, is in the lives that we have led
But I still hear the echoes of those lost and broken dreams, instead

Remembering that sunset, and those wispy angel clouds
The only sound the wind... and our hearts, away from city crowds
We knew back then the love we had, would never let us down
But the cool green leaves of Summer, have now sadly turned to brown
Those nights with you were then, and are the best times I have known
I live within those memories, for the winds of age have blown
I reap the painful harvest of the sorrow that I’ve grown
Can I repair your heart?, that remains in the unknown

Please do not misunderstand, I’ve loved you all this time
It’s just that I have thoughts that come to cloud my troubled mind
I’ve left too many words unsaid,
too many tears behind
And now the past is slowly creeping up on me, I find
To leave me here to live with all the pain I’ve put you through
As you must so endure, the self-reproach I’ve given you
I ask only forgiveness, I know the asking's overdue
My life is what it is,
but it’s nothing without you…

Dean Evans
12-12-14
For C.