I lie awake wondering if
on your restless nights
You're lying there
Thinking of me too
I haven't cried in weeks
I haven't heard from you in months
And tonight
I'm lying here
Imagining all the places on my body that you've touched
How my own fingertips do not feel like yours
Despite my best efforts
I cannot fool myself into thinking
For even one tired moment
That you are here with me again
Why tonight of all nights
Am I lying here crying?
I have to imagine of course
That this all comes back to you
That surely you're somewhere
On the other side of the world
Thinking of me so strongly that I felt it
All the way back here
And so to that I say
I feel you
You are here with me
You are always here with me
This love we share
Will never leave

when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?

I have been suicidal for about 3 years
I have always thought about going through with it
I have actually attempted a few times but they failed
After I got my new animals I feel different
I am still suicidal and I still have my rough moments
I know that there is a lot to live for and I know that I have a wonderful boyfriend who helps me through everything
But sometimes it isn’t enough
Sometimes I still want to die
But when I think of how it would affect my animals, it hurts me
I know that if I die that they will not know what happened and they will be looking for me
They will not know what to do. They will do the same thing that my uncle’s dog did, he searched for him after his death and ended up starving to death because he was depressed
I don’t want that to happen to my animals, I don’t want them to go through that heartache