For once, I'm at a loss for words
I can't write eloquence into our anniversary yesterday
Because it was magical in and of itself
You planned me a quiet picnic in the woods, just you and me
Cooking hot dogs on a charcoal grill we didn't know how to use
And eating chicken salad
Going kayaking was a dream, paddling along
On a quiet tributary to a bigger lake, we went back into the woods
We sat in our little floating craft and talked about first kisses and magic
We wondered at how simple acts could have led us apart and how happy we are together
I noticed the calmness of the water and the intricacies of the ripples when I indulged my paddle into the stream
We were out for an hour, just paddling along
Talking, living, laughing, loving together.
Just being together
We eventually made our way back in, an hour car ride away from home
Talking some more, laughing together, enjoying the company
We went back to my place and ate dinner with my family
Shrimp Scampi with salad and bread
Then roasted marshmallows and laughed when they became torches
Nothing is better than marshmallows with the people you love
After that we set up my hammock and just swung there and watched the sun slip below the horizon
Taking in the scenery, we didn't need to talk, because there was nothing more that could have been said
It was magical until my little brother came over to us and asked why we weren't talking and called us boring
But he doesn't understand, not quite yet
Not until he is sitting on a hammock with a girl, and knows there isn't anything to say
It was a beautiful day, wonderful by itself

A representation of our love
*Beautiful, soft, pure, and real

In a dreamy lullaby
I saw you for the first time in a while
Your eyes were different I suppose
And in the dim lighting, they did glow
Your hand brushed mine and you smiled lightly
But I was chilled by this contact slightly
I had emotions for you, sure I did
But I thought your feelings for me were all but rid
I let mine come through, I showed my heart
And you showed yours too, which is the unrealistic part
You said you still had a tingle deep inside
That when you saw me, your heart would fly
When I walked past you could not breathe
Which is exactly what you do to me
We tried, oh my, we tried and tried
To make time erase from tired minds
But in the end, it slipped far away, you see
Because nothing can be how it used to be
So you left me alone to reconcile
How to move on from your unpurposeful guile

My love for you lives at I-95
Right past the exit for Towson
Where we stopped at Lito's for pizza
After we kissed for the first time
I passed I-95 today and didn't remember
Those soft kisses in back seats
Until I saw that pizza shop sign
I could see myself, 13 and blossoming
Holding tightly to your hand
It was like I was standing outside of your dad's car
Looking in at the events that just unfolded
That thirteen year old that won the bet with her friend for having her first kiss
It wasn't why that thirteen year old wanted it though
She just mustered up the courage to move her face close enough
So that the tiniest amount of contact could be made
It was intended to be soft and meaningful, the first of many
But it turned out off-centered and askew
But it was lovely
You, thirteen and dream like, were shocked
Yet intrigued, so you kissed me next time
Then it went back and forth
Alternating kisses, testing the feelings of new connections
Tingling fingers, tapping toes

Little does he know
That while he thinks he is doing well
That he is moving on
He will soon know the truth
That loving others is just a facade to distract himself
From dealing with moving on from what happened
It will hit him
One night, it will hit him
While he is laying alone in his bed, he will know
He will think of a joke or a memory that will knock him back in time
Back to square one
He will have to start all over again
Trying to claw his way back into reality
One where together doesn't belong
Perhaps he won't feel it
But I am expecting that he will
He will know that she isn't truly erased from his mind
On one lonely night not too far from now
Because he doesn't know that when you love someone else
When all the pink clouds and sparkles are gone
Is when you understand your true feelings

It doesn't have to be some huge ordeal
Not a clash and clamor of pots and pans
Or the thunder of lightning
It doesn't have to make a ruckus

I want that kind of quiet love
The one that sits next to you on the couch
But doesn't have to say anything
Because it knows that you don't always have to talk

I want that kind of love
Where you go to the same diner together every Saturday
Playing hangman and connect the dots
On the back of worn-out, faded pink and blue, advertisement place mats
While you order the same meal because it is tried and true

I want that love where you can go to the supermarket together
Just wandering aimlessly through isles
Deciding on what to make for dinner
Debating over whether $4.99 is a proper price to pay for Rigatoni

That love where you can sing in the car
Along with the radio
Even though you are horribly off key and so am I
But it doesn't matter
Music was never our forte anyway

I want that quiet kind of love
I guess what I really want is friendship

when people ask me if we like eachother
I reply back and say
"no we're just friends"
but I tend to think different because the other night:
when you were drunk,
you told me how you thought my laugh was perfect
and that whenever I do
it makes you smile
and how my smile lights up any room I walk into
when you were drunk,
you told me how you loved my eyes
and how they change from brown to green
you got mad at your friend who tried talking to me
and kept saying to him
"No she's mine"
People say that the truth comes out when you're drunk
I just wish you could say these things sober.
Whenever I bring up another boy,
you pretend like you don't care
but I can tell by the way your tone changes
and how you look at me like I've said the worst possible thing I could.
I don't think you realize
that if you said you wanted to be with me
I would drop anyone for you
but then I remember
"we're just friends"

Glide your fingers down the railing
As you make your grand ingression
Meeting the faces you are destined to meet
As they fasten their first impressions

You are one to worry what they think
And wonder how or why
But, know that they have trained themselves
To create facades and alibis

They would be just as scared as you
If they were the ones walking down that stair
So hold your head up high, my dear
As if you did not care

I set fire to my broken chest
everytime I think ,
of what we can't be,
and I let these tears fall,
to try to put out the flames,
but nothing seems to quench,
this raging inferno.