You never notice
Or,
Maybe you pretend
So you never
Have to

-e.w.

There was something
About the cold metal
Sliding across my
Innocent skin
As it slowly ripped it open,
Like a zipper on a jacket

There was just something about it
That always had me crawling back
To do it once more

-e.w.

There was nothing I liked more
Than walking past you
Pretending I didn't see you
As you stared at me,
Yearning for me to look

But I didn't
And I never do

Because I told myself awhile ago
That if you wanted me
You would've tried
At least a little
To talk to me
And try at
Whatever the hell
This is,
Or was
Between
Us

-e.w.

I've been called
A "self-loathing *****"
Too many times
To count on
Two hands
Just in the past
Week

But I'm sorry
That I hate
Every inch
Of this body that I'm
Trapped in

And I'm sorry
That every word
That slips from my lips,
I look at
As a huge mistake

And I'm sorry
That you think
I'm just doing it
All for "show"

When in reality
There's something
Deep in my chest
That makes me
So depressed
And it
Just
Won't
Leave.

-e.w.

All I want
Is for this
******* headache
To leave me alone
Because for the past
Year and a half
The only pain
I ever feel
Is the one
Residing in my
Head

-e.w.

I haven't felt like
Myself lately
I've felt
Different

Because I've gone through
Stages
From my innocent little girl phase
To a person who was
Bombarded
With the things of this cruel world
And had to feel everything
So strongly
To a girl who is
Emotionless
To everything

Because I don't feel
An ache
Or a break
In this fragile heart
Deep in my chest anymore

I feel nothing

And something drastic could happen
And I know
I would still feel
Nothing

-e.w.

I had been clean
From the red lines
That cover my arms
That appear
Each time the voices
In my head
Get louder
And meaner

I had been clean
For 2 weeks
An all time
Record
For me

But I broke

I broke because
The voices filled my mind
With evil and
Self-loathing
Thoughts
And I just couldn't
Handle it

And somewhere
Deep in my dying heart
I deserve it.

-e.w.