Me tracing your perfectly sculpted body
Your eyes shut
You came back with a new thong and shirt
Sliding back into bed
Scooting into me
I put my hands back on you, tracing the top of your bra
Feeling the lace on the tips of my fingers
Griping you
Pulling your bra down to your waist
Dragging my fingers up and down your curves
Making you squirm
Making my way down your back
Kissing your neck
Listening to you enjoy me
All I want is to make you feel loved
Loving you is the only way to start my sunday morning right

I play this twisted game when I start to question why people talk to me. I call it “Are you paying attention”. Usually it’s not in person.

I’ll send a Snapchat that if you actually looked at it you would notice my glossy eyes and my red nose from crying.

But you won’t notice

I’ll smile when you tell a joke or I’ll nod in a agreement but you don’t watch my smile fade when I look away.

But you won’t notice

I’ll ask you if you’re ok to see if you ask me back. If you do respond you’ll believe me when I say I’m ok.

But you won’t notice

I’ll stay quiet and not as happy as I like to think I am. Hoping you notice and ask what’s wrong.

But you won’t notice

I want to think that you understand me. That you get me. I want to believe you listen when I’m upset. I want you to care. But when you don’t notice I know you don’t.

It’s a twisted game because you tell me you do care. And sometimes you show me you notice. Or when I’m crying you’re there for me. But if I don’t tell you something is wrong

You won’t notice

It always goes the same way. You going a million miles a minute running around your room doing stuff. I'll catch every other word you say with the sound cutting in and out. I am either looking at the ceiling or it is paused because of the connection. But none of that bothers me. I don't mind not being able to hear everything you say so know what you are doing or what you are saying because I know you are there. I know if the connection cuts out you will call right back and apologize. All of your stories and comments not necessarily talking to me or seeing if I am listening but I am. So I find myself keeping busy with coloring, puzzles, writing, or just adoring you. We never really talk just the occasional what are you doing. but I like it. It's our thing. We don't have to talk to each to know we are there for each other. I would much rather be with you like this. You always end up making me laugh or smile and I don't get a lot of that so thank you for all of our casual FaceTimes.

You give happy a new meaning. I have never smiled so truly. People talk about smiling with your eyes but I can feel it in my whole body. Holding nothing back. Everything in my bones forcing me to smile. Even at the slightest thought of you I can't help but crack a smile. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. When you're in pain, ******, happy or when you can't decide what you are going to do with your life. I want to be there for you no matter what. I don't know how I got so lucky. you are indescribable in the best way. When I see you my mind goes blank. I get so flustered around you the only thing I can say is what do you want to do or I don't know. Even when you get mad at me for not deciding what to do I still love you. You could do the worst thing in the world and I would forgive you immediately. Because I love you.

You are my vacation
You’re eyes are my blue ocean
Hair the sand
Smile the sunshine
And lips the cool needed breeze

A.) Wrong
B.) False
C.) Incorrect
D.) All of the above

I don’t want you to tell me that I’m awesome
I don’t want you to tell me that I can do this
I don’t want you to tell me that I’m not fat
I don’t want you to tell me that I’m beautiful
I don’t want you to tell me I want ydon’t want you to tell me any of that

I want you to tell me you are here for me. That you won’t ever leave me. That you want to here what’s going on and you’ll stay until I can figure out what is going on. Tell me it is going to be ok and you will stay with me until it gets better.

You know when you stand at the edge of the water, feet in sand. Letting the water wash over your feet making you sink in the sand a little more each time. When we are little we make a game out of it. Running away from the waves as they try to catch you. But now we welcome it. Wanting the relaxing repetitiveness of it. Then walking further in. One step at a time. Apprehensive at first as it is so cold. Waves crashing higher than you want because you're scared. You keep going because eventually it becomes colder outside of the water than in. Finally you can't touch the bottom anymore and you have to decide if you want to keep swimming and explore the wonders of the ocean or go back to the shore where you know it is safe. You may not know what's beyond the horizon or under the surface of the water but you know there is more there than what meets the eye. Swimming further in you realize you are surrounded by water. Peacefully floating and letting the water guide you occasionally wash over you. Knowing wonders lay beneath you. Finding things you thought could never exist. Wanting to go deeper. Learning new beauties but you can only hold your breath for so long. Seeing somethings you can't unsee. Dark scary things that make you question if you should stay or go in another ocean again. It can be terrifying to find something that makes you question your love of the ocean and everything wonderful in it. I guess that is why we stay near shore. Never getting lost at sea.

Enchantingly beautiful
Magnificent
Inspiring
Loving
Youthful