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Go.
You have to understand!
Please,
I need you to,
I could keep rambling,
No I can't my mind is scrambling,
Everything is mixed up,
I need it all to stop,
Take a photo,
Crop,
Shape it differently,
Add a filter,
Make it fake,
Alter the entire thing,
Let the cold sting,
Allow my ears to ring,
Change my thoughts to silence,
I do not need dark guidance,
Let everything sink in,
Try something new,
Or let everything stay the same,
Do not leave the bubble,
Safety nets can only go so far,
Mine could scar,
Yet so could so many other things,
I just need to try,
To see what everything is about,
Maybe I will try to shout,
Show my cards,
I know I won't,
There is no way I want to expose myself,
I like my secrets in my mental shelf,
Sharing can be fun,
Never when something gets done,
Help was what I wanted,
Then I got it and it was no longer appealing,
Things were too revealing,
To an untrusted person,
Pushed into new places,
Seeing so many new faces,
Lost in a sea,
With no real version of me,
Just a shell anyone could see.
Words can be loud,
Or as soft as a cloud,
Floating in the air,
Hanging there,
Being received,
To show that I have not been deceived,
Typed words are so much scarier,
No tone,
No way to know,
Just having to go with the flow,
An unsteady go,
Minutes slide by,
I start questioning why,
Silence as water falls from my eyes,
Wondering what was the lie,
Wanting to just know,
Where any of this could have gone,
The answer is no where,
Since I am in the middle of it,
So I'll just sit,
Accepting no response,
There are no words in the air,
No soft words,
Just silence,
The ringing that pierces my ears,
Encasing all my fears,
No clouds besides stormy ones,
And those aren't even visible,
This silence is the invisible kind,
One for myself to find,
Since no one has me in mind,
There is such a small amount of time,
I've stolen enough so I should give up mine,
Which I would be all too glad to share,
Yet none of that is fair,
Why would it be?
There are no soft sounds here,
Just some fear,
And tear after tear.
Tick tock,
Goes the little clock,
Every second has a sound,
And there goes time,
Time that doesn't feel like mine,
Words amplified,
Flaws magnified,
This leaves me quietly terrified,
With my brain nowhere to be found,
Except in the quiet sound,
Of the second hand going around.
I once knew a girl with a giant heart
Beautiful, sweet and awful smart
But far too kind and too naive
To give so much, and not receive

She would smile and satisfy
but at night, she would cry
She would sacrifice in secrecy
and weep in secret frequently

But in our eyes, she was blessed
So we didn't see her one request
Her scream of help wasn't heard
And gone, she was like a manakin bird.
I am back again after a week vacation. Where I was reminded of an old friend I lost because of ignorance. A fake smile can hide an ocean of sorrow.
It's night and I am to wonder
What is this sinister madness?
shocking me like thunder
an unexplainable sadness!
Sadness from sheering silence
Erasing all hope and guidance.

I wonder. But find no reasons
Why this sadness is needed
and like spiritual dry seasons
Wither the joy I once seeded
Drained and bleak, but why?
Sadness and silence, no reply.

Time passes days and weeks
I am still with no explanation
And when the sun finally peaks
I feel this relieved sensation
But why did the sadness go?
why did it come? *I don't know.
Sometimes I just feel sad I don't know why. No warning, no reason just sadness. But I always manage so I just hold tight and wait for better days.
 Feb 2016 Emily Chambers
Natalie
do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

— The End —