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  Jan 2015 Ellie Shelley
Astrid Ember
You remind me of
slow burning cigarettes
and long lasting fires.
You remind me of beer
and behind
the library.
You remind me of
simpler times.
When all I had
to worry about was
if this beer was
a twist-top or not.
And if my hair looked fine.
But now... I have
to worry about if I've
lost you forever.
If you'll ever come back
and listen to my pathetic
apologies.
you remind me of
addicting love.
They're going to have
to put me in rehab
and peel every memory
of you off of my skin.
Because I keep imagining your
hand there again.
Because every time I put
a cigarette to my lips
I imagine your soft
skin, and not some orange
filter.
Everytime I put a pipe
up to my face I
imagine it's your lips
I'm kissing.
And not just some
smoke filled with THC
That'll only make me
miss you more.

And Everytime I put
a beer up to my
mouth.
I'm not tasting
the bitterness.
I'm tasting
the memory of you.
Robert. ugh.
Ellie Shelley Jan 2015
He’s standing
He stands so poetic
He stands by a tree
He stands strong
He stands weak
I start falling
I fall to my knees
I fall to the ground
I fall from the weight of my infatuation
I fall thinking of you
I am breaking my back
I break my back
I break my back trying to not think of you
I break my back under the weight of this
I break my back trying to not think of this
I can’t admit this
But I can’t just omit these feelings
You see I have only your name
I have not your feelings
Your emotions
Your fears
Your love
You only know my name
You do not have anything of me
You don’t want me
And as the clock struck 12
You probably kissed her
With alcohol on your breath
And no trace of me on your mind
I just thought about this now.
  Jan 2015 Ellie Shelley
WickedHope
I'm tired of this game,
This late night game,
I don't want to play --
I know I shouldn't play.
But you make me feel
Like I'm being looked at,
Not laughed at, like I'm
Beautiful, **** for the
First time in forever.
I don't want to play,
Yet I keep initiating it.
I want to be the one you
Hold in your heart, but
I'm the pictures on your
Phone, and it sure as hell
Isn't me you're holding.
I'm sorry I'm not enough to be
more than pictures on your
phone, and words in your ear.
  Jan 2015 Ellie Shelley
Alin
wish for a wish
?
no.
not this time.

fireworks -
before dawn

they too
need none

I like it more
when
skies are mine

no. I am yours

can you be one?
first time – last time?

eye to eye with a lone star
guided by a mantra  
Lokah Samasta


Oh bike
do take me home
please

under a plum tree
or make one
for me
in the sky
upside down

fruitless winter branches!
are these same as the shape of your roots?

allow me then
to plant us in the blue
where that star shines
thrue

a galactic bulge
pulls me inside a spheroid
and centers
to where breath runs
along colorful lines

I sleep - I dream
I am awake

a white dove
to doves
doves to pitpat s

as if snow
a heavenly scent
flourishes curlicue bells

the unwished
converts the gloom
returns a gift
made of
the glowing yearning
of a phleum

for a new morning sky
made of a bloom

gifted  
to us
by
Bloom.
for Bloom
  Jan 2015 Ellie Shelley
Dany
sleepless nights
and countless attempts
of flirting with death.
fear and loneliness
until the last breath.
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