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 Oct 2015 Dreams of Sepia
ahmo
I fall,
and I am fleeting.

Here,
there is no escaping.

Clutches
of care and emotion.

I'm terrified of such a notion.

Brown-
there is brightness
in such darkness.

There are hymns
hopefully strung on tombstones.

There
is
light
where
there
is
nothing.

These words are nothing but
bits of string
arranged by
the level of warmth they provide.

Stagnant feelings may divide.
I will smile if she smiles,
and work tirelessly
all the while.
 Oct 2015 Dreams of Sepia
ahmo
red lights
are not near sights.

I am told for color
shows meaning-
blue gleaming,
magenta
beaming
and a hue of orange
reminding me that existence is
okay.
For now.

How do you see color?
Is it that which stops you,
or that which sets you apart?
When I retire in Ireland
I'll be fit and sixty-five
Then I'll ride the DART for free
and explore the country-side

I'll rent an old thatched cottage
Buy a bicycle with gears
Tool along Connor Pass Road
Out to ******, drink some beers

Eating the Irish breakfasts
Drinking too much Guinness to mention
Uncle Sam sends my social security
I'll collect my teacher's pension

Mornings I'll write a novel
About my Irish sojourn
A boat to Blasket Islands
Some Gaelic I'll be learnin'

I'll check my geneology
The DART to Cork and I go
Fitzpatrick's, a talented family,
Doctors, fighters, writers in the know

Always an ear to the music
Familiar faces all around
Perhaps some long lost relatives
Still in Cork who could be found

Yes, I'm in love with Ireland
The Cliffs of Moher call to me
I'll go hiking west of Doolin
Rent an apartment in Dun Laoghaire (dun leary)
I've enjoyed 2 trips to Ireland and both times felt as if I belonged there, that the faces I saw seemed familiar, like family.
I got locked out of the house today
While feeding my cat on the porch
In a bathrobe without my purse
No phone, no key, barefoot of course

So I sprinted to the driveway
Where my man was still backing out
Engrossed in checking his emails
He must have missed my screaming shout

Backed out all the way to the street
His eyes ahead in the early dawn
He didn't see my panicky dance
Off to work, in a flash, he was gone

Despite my last ditch effort
Racing after him down the street
He never looked back, not once
I was abandoned with ****** feet

It's only half past 7am
Time to problem-solve my way inside
Even though I had a ladder to climb
Every lock and bolt let all hope die

That day I spent on the patio
Long and hot it was to be sure
Feeling neglected and left behind
I cried a few tears in a blur

Then I did some overdue yard work
Drank out of the hose like my dog
Relaxed in the hammock instead of lunch
Dozed off in an afternoon fog

Til I found a book on reflexology
I'd been meaning to read for so long
Practiced a few techniques on my cat
And planned how I'd tell Bill he'd done me wrong
True story
when the sun rose, I
would have believed it was from the west,
if she told me

the long night
before we slipped into dreamless
sleep, she recited entire poems from
Poe, Pound, and Dickinson, and her own
mythic mantras

I craved her, because
I was flesh, but not once did our lips touch
though her words poured into me like warm wine,
quenching a rapacious thirst
I did not know I possessed

I was the talker, the mountain man
mystic who scattered few coins for free
love, and often cast my seed before
I knew more than a first name

with her, I thought it would be the same
but my paws lay still in my lap, and my ears
became black holes for her white words

what rhyme cast our spell I would never recall
though what stirs yet deepest of all, was the way
I heard she chose to leave this flat plain,
some ancient eve

long after we had our night
she found a fallow field far from the hum of humanity
and made perfect cuts in her thin wrists
while so many others overdosed on life
she spilled hers onto a hungry ground
The title is from phrases I remember from a Richard Powers book.
in the corner
where giant walls join, he stares
at me, or the painting on the sky
of drywall behind me

if my mate spots him, she
will demand martial action
I am to skulk across the laminate field
and use the mighty broom

then, the dustpan
scooping his carcass up
for the grave, beside the cat
in the yard

squirrels, pestiferously perched
on my fence, teeth sharp courtesy of my
redwood trim, will watch

no, I won't listen to my spouse,
and execute an overgrown mouse
I'll let him squeeze through the planks
and go where royal rodents go

still, I may go hunting yet--my prey?
those furry tailed acorn chiselers, who ravage
my redwood with impunity...
(they think)
a letter came from Ukraine
tailing the newspapers' grey accounts
faster than the cloud of fallout

there were three smudges
from a child's digits, between the stamp
and my address

prints of proof you were there,
eating the Hershey’s I sent, though
your mother scrawled my name
and safe, numbered place I live,
a planet away  

the letter yet sits
on my desk, quiet, perhaps
waiting to be opened

I planned to surprise you
in your sluggish summer, with a visit,
and American Girl dolls

but April lasted forever  
for you, who happened to be walking
close to the melting kiln, looking
for spring’s first buds
on a Saturday morn
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