today was the first day I
didn’t feel anything for you.
last week when I said your
name it didn’t burn my
throat and my eyes didn’t
water.
I saw a photograph
of the two of us and it didn't
break my heart - piece by
piece I’m getting over you,
and maybe i'll be okay.

It's how slowly the darkness takes over that I think is why no one notices
It's little small things I stop doing over a period of weeks that it somehow becomes an integrated part of me. That's why they don't notice my blank state, my sad tired lifeless eyes, my unwillingness to participate in conversation. If it all happened at once that's a different story, that's when people notice. This is why when I break down, it goes unnoticed. Even by me.

Hallucinations of a dream, waiting to be lived.
Searching for your soul but I feel it's no longer here.
As I look into those empty, lonely eyes.
A part of me is dying to be with the person you once were.
They say,  it's  hard to love someone who doesn't love you.
But sometimes you've got to tango with the demons, to make it through the calendar.

to dream is a bliss,
to imagine is happiness.
fantasy is a wonderland
filled with duets and slow dances.
a colorful place it is
with trees and bright flowers throughout
complete with perfectly light blue skies.
but
somehow,
reality found its way
and pierced right through,
creating deep holes and gaps
that
you
just
can't
fill
those holes will forever remind you that
it can never be real
reality is a dull world filled with never-ending dark storms and withered flowers.
to dream is a bliss,
yet
to daydream forever slowly becomes a nightmare
full of such lethal pleasures.
and so
as i break my wistful trance,
i find myself in an abyss called life
where no one knows when they'll hit rock bottom.
i look up in the sky,
patiently waiting for the storms to end
wishing to find a rainbow.

(There are galaxies pinwheeling all around me and I can’t sleep.)

there is a malignance
festering within my bones.

night has hypnotized me numb.

it pulls Lake Michigan’s secrets in.

i stare at my cracked wrists.

there is mold in the crevices
of my mind.

i need stardust, to taste the burn of light.

the moon pulls blood from my heart,
shivers from my skin,
a sirens scream from my throat.