there'll be others just like you
only not like you but different
there'll be others that will dress better
there'll be others that won't pretend.
there'll be some that will listen to good music
and some that won't.
there'll be some that will understand the meaning of faithfulness
and hopefully none that won't care.
there'll be some that i won't be able to talk to about the meaning of anything,
those i won't stay with. i think.
there'll probably be some that i won't get to love,
only a few with which i'll share pain.

but really i don't want any of them.
i want only you with the crushing feeling,
and your terrible way to talk.

This twisted existence is beginning to push my limits.
I've had enough of life I only strive to see it finished.
No matter how I try the timeline won't diminish;
I guess I'm meant to stick around for more than just a minute.

It sickens me to watch as old friends depart the earth,
As I'm left to sit and ponder on life and what it's worth.
It's hard to carry onward with this never ending search,
while other men just wander in apparent ceaseless mirth.

I'm holding onto hope
God knows how long that will last
For what if our atoms split in the blast
And fate brought us cross country for that
The longing they have
Knowing each other as they did in the past
But like I said
I'm holding on to hope
God knows how long that will last

Find me a window,
Find me a door,
Find me a corner
To hide in

I need to escape
This unfortunate life
My house, a building
Not a home

My sister's are my rock
Parents.
Well what can I say?
ENEMIES

What is a family,
When there's no love?
It's emotional
It's my stability,

Well maybe not.

When can I escape?
Without any money
I can only hide
Hidings what I'm good at.

"I'm fine," she says with a halfhearted grin.
"I'm fine," she says again, waving away a helpful hand.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, several minutes later.
"I'm fine," she whispers, wiping her face.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says moments after the cry leaves her lips.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, sinking to the floor.
"I'm fine," she tells herself, shaking in a ball.
"I'm fine," she repeats, picking up the razorblade.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says to her concerned family.
"I'm fine," she insists as those who love her worry.
"I'm fine," she says to anyone who listens.
"I'm fine," she lies as she slices her wrists.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she cries, sobbing on the bathroom floor.
"I'm fine," she wails, but only in a whisper.
"I'm fine," she mutters, watching the blood leave her wrist.
"I'm fine," she practices, stepping from the room.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she assures the world outside.

I often carry
On so much
Anger and sadness
That when something
Small goes wrong.
I break, and it
Makes people
Think i'm crazy.
But you know whats
Even more crazy?
Caring on all that
Without knowing
Which or who's
Direction to aim it at.