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This poem is for you
If you have lost someone you loved.*

Suddenly the person you thought you could rely on most
Is ripped away from you
And you fight
You do everything in your power to keep them
But it's dangerous
It's toxic
And now
They're gone.
And you're left in a tragic fragility.

Time heals everything
What you can't stop thinking about now
And what consumes your thoughts
So much
And what causes you terrible heartache
Will fade.

And you will feel it fade
Because slowly, you realise life goes on
And your heart will heal
And you will stitch yourself together

Don't feel ashamed
It's all part of the process
You can do it
Feel it
Cry
Let the tears stream down your face
But then move on.

What kills you now
Is what you will kiss goodbye later.
1) Grow up
2) Obey rules
3) Go to school
4) Graduate from school
5) Go to college
6) Get a job
7) Marry
8) Have kids
9) Raise your kids to live the same repeated cycle you did
10) Die.

Because everybody wants to live ordinarily.
Each process inevitably leads you to the next. The cycle goes on and on and on. We are breeding generations that are far worse off than the last. We are destructive humans who live in our own little worlds. We refuse to see the bigger picture because we are trapped
In society's cage.

Congratulations on living the life of a human.
Your soul is beautiful and warm and radiant.
Thank you for being my sun.
I'm used to poison in my mouth
I'm used to the toxicity in the air
I thought it was all I deserved
And I was trapped in the midst of it all
It's strange that I have come across a cool river to wash me away and take me to some place new

And now
Things are easier
Gentler
Natural
Simpler
And I never want to leave this place
I feel free
And finally
Happy.
  May 2016 documenting my thoughts
Lex
And suddenly
I was captivated by how he held his steering wheel
I was blown away by how the shadows of the passing streets lights
made themselves home on his skin
I wanted to be home on his skin
I wondered what it felt like to be embedded into the cracks in his hands
Actually I wanted to be a small molecule that belonged on his fingertips
Even for just 2 heartbeats
I just wanted to place myself over his chest
And for a few seconds my life would be completely in my hands
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