If I beg you to break me will you shatter me to pieces?
If I plead and cry on my knees will you hurt me?
If I ask you kindly with my eyes to the ground
If I whisper in your ear in the middle of the night
If I scream it in the pillows
Will you make me bleed?
Will you make me feel?
Will you make the numbness go away?
Will you bruise me?
Make me remember why I'm here.
I thought about not putting that last line in. "Make me remember why I'm here." I showed this poem to a good friend of mine who told me not to censor myself, not to pretend the pain I'm feeling isn't here for the sake of not wanting to be crude, so I put it back in. She told me without the last line of this poem no one really knows why I want the pain, "it would be like ripping out the last five chapters of a good book" in her words. I agree.