Nothing is the same with you,
once you came into my life everything changed.
My perspective, my outlook, my peace, my life, love, everything has changed. And i love it <3
I love seeing you walk into my room, walking around my house knowing where things are, being comfortable, laying in bed, lighting up my world.
Without  you my life wouldn't be the same.
I just gotta say, I'm so glad you came into my world when you did.
You, the one that i adore are my one and only.
Our kind of love is the kind of love that only some are lucky enough to find once in a life time.
They're lover, best friend, they're foundation, YOU. :) <3
You are that one for me.
You deserve the best, i wanna give it to you.

maybe you won't find me beautiful
because of my hair
or my lips
or the color of my skin
maybe you won't love
the way i walk or the way i dress
but i hope you fall in love with
the words in my soul
and the fire in my heart
and the myriad of stars in my eyes
and the wonder and grace that
are tangled in my hair
and the bravery that is
locked up in my bones
and the unfading beauty
of my spirit
and if you think that's
beautiful,
that is enough for me.

i remember being scared that my father would discover i cut myself.
i remember the day that he did.
trying to cram the screaming baby into his highchair dad saw the mark on my arm and i told him
it was from a marker
he demanded to see it again
and so dad found out that sometimes praying isn't enough.

i don't remember being afraid that dad would find out about the things moose did to me
...i guess i can't say that
i guess i have to say the things we did together
(but i will always lay the blame at his feet
for beginning things
that first night.)
even now, i am not afraid
even now when i truly believe that dad knows what happened
even now when dad gently pats me before he goes up to bed
and says don't forget
to
repent
i am not afraid.
i am ashamed.

laying in my bed, trying to write this poem
Being in a small town, wishing somewhere bigger and brighter was my home.
A place where people don't sleep.
Where the night owls thrive.
A place where everything is always alive.
I look outside my window and see nothing but darkness and an empty street.
Nothing but one street lamp, how does everyone feel complete?
Do people ever get lonely and want something more?
Doesn't anyone always want an open door?
I want to look out my window, and see action.
Taxi's and people and human interaction.
Not some empty street that's a depressing distraction.
I want something more, bright lights galore, a place where sleep doesn't have to be an option anymore.

Who am I?
Where am I?
Where am I going?

What's my purpose?
What's lifes purpose?
Does purpose have a purpose?

I'm falling, deeper and deeper
It's getting darker and blacker
I can't seem to stop it

Where is the light? What is the light?
Can I find it? Does it exist?
Does anyone else know this feeling?

No, stop. Stop falling, please I can't take it.
Where's the end? Is there an end?
Make it stop!
STOP with the questions! STOP.

I can't take this! I'm going berserk!
My mind is running away from me and I can't stop it.
I'm slipping away, and there's
nothing I can do.
Losing hope, I no longer care if I crash.

Let the bottom envelope me like the wrapper over a lollipop. Swallow me.
I don't care if I hit rock bottom, let it happen.

Just as I'm about to give up and let the darkness swallow me, I hear a voice.

ENOUGH! I've witnessed enough.
Open your eyes, look at yourself.
Your accomplishments, your desires, your life.

Bring it back, connect back to where you belong.
Do you want to just let yourself slip? What are you doing?

You have so much going for you, come back.
Is this what you want?
To let yourself wither away like this?

Give yourself some credit, you're better than this.
Only you can stop the falling.
And you can do so, by opening your eyes.

Realize what you have going for you, get out of your rut.
Listen to what I'm saying, look at the good in your life.
You don't have to fall like this.

Do you understand why I punished you?
Do you understand why you were falling?
Letting your head, mind, doubts control you, will defeat you.

So from here I let you go, as long as you learned your lesson.
Control your mind before it controls you.
Or you will keep falling deeper and deeper, and ultimately get to a point of no return.

So, my job is done.
Yours is simple,
Open your eyes.

An overwhelming blast of light fills what feels like my soul and cleanses my mind, I'm awake. My mind isn't racing, I'm not falling into blackness, I'm just...still.

I found the light, or...the light found me.

I'm at peace, and that's how I'll stay.