Screaming "I don't care"
At the top of my lungs
No feelings or emotions
Easily roll off my tongue

Gonna leave me?
Left alone to soak in my misery?
That's my definition of sanity

Maybe it has something to do with
Being knocked unconscious at fourteen
Taken advantage of
But I only remember in my dreams
Then I wake up with no memory

I don't understand how I'm startled so easily
A simple figure of a man,
All of a sudden, standing anywhere near me
I jump, scream and can barely breathe
Even when I know it's the man that loves me
And would never intentionally hurt me

Panic flows continuously through me
Excessive amounts of anxiety
It's not really a new thing
Not really something anyone can explain
You could guess, make assumptions or try to diagnos me
But I don't think anyone could truly understand the pain

*I'm not so sure if no emotions is really a good thing...

I am so lonely.
I just want someone to ask if I'm okay.
I'm not,
But I wish someone would ask.

Still your pictures on my wall
Still heart beating for you
Still trying to find your hand
        in the darkness of my room

Still dying to have you close
Still shaking when i'm alone
Still loving you with my whole soul
        You've been gone for a quite a while

Still praying for you to come back
Still thinking you're my only one
Still hoping to find a night
                       a night that isnt black