Don't feed the trolls.

Time is born
manifest of change,
In space we're caught
between experiential planes;
Yet thought goes beyond
said mortal chains, to which
linearity need not pertain:
Dare you treat with thy
hollow temporal wrath?
Breathed in to replace that;
The emptiness(-in-itself)
of change as a constant
and earth's cool breath,
Skimming oceans while
belaying their depth.
Thine reflection
gone in search
of humankind,
Tranquil sunbeams
doth remain aligned.

My body's mechanism for keeping me warm isn't working.
I'm shivering.
But I am cold.
I am cold.
I am cold.
I am tired.
And I am working.
And I am tired of working.
And I am tired of being cold.

But I can't step out into the sun yet.
Stop ruining our chances of warmth,
You pushed both of us into our separate caves.
We didn't have to be isolated.
I can't help you.
I am cold.

I need a ******* ******* drink,
And a ******* ******* cigarette,
And a ******* ******* blanket.

I hope every time that you think of me
It ***** you up so bad
That the only thing you can think to do
Is drink yourself to sleep that night.

I wonder
What you saw when you looked at me

Drinking with the devil's thirst
Smoking the cowboys dirt
Laughing much too loud
Walking round the next day in my ex's stolen underwear
Bloodshot eyes and ready for another round

I was chaos and storms
I was weather worn
But inside I was holding me together
With the too loud music and too much fake smiles
I was something too behold

I wonder what you saw
When you looked at me

I was told you like to fix things
And to you I'd be the ultimate challenge with all my broken dreams
I told you to leave well enough alone
That I'm putting myself back together on my own
You heeded my warnings not

You looked at me as though I was all you saw
And into my heart and life you clawed
You spoke to me through my favourite songs
Made me feel like to you alone I belonged
You said you never felt this way and that I was your safe place

I wonder now
When I look at you

How hard it must've been
For you to pretend you're all in
How you must've hated every moment we touched
Though how well you did fake lust
I shudder to recall

How difficult for you to fake those looks
All your tricks,  you said you learned from books
Your romantic ramblings must've been so tiring
You made me feel like I was dying
How hard was it for you,  I wonder

You faked it all so convincingly
Everyone believed it,  even me
I thought I met my other half
While you thought you were smart
I hope someday I'll find it funny

For all your great intentions you forgot
About what happens at the end,   we both lost
You lost a friend,  I a lover
You quickly went back to your other
And I am back at the start

So your pretty words didn't fix me like you hoped
I was doing fine,  I would've coped
Just fine without your interference
Your intentions were careless
You broke another piece off me

It's one of those days where I need to remember to be kind to myself
When my breath is hardly enough to give life to an elf
One of those days where I struggle to get out of bed
I cant get anything to sit right in my head
Simply for eating something, I pat myself on the back
I have to keep reminding myself not all my thoughts are fact
John Michael stipe says not to take pictures of the bad days
To hide them away and leave it where it lays
But I take the pictures, and keep them on a shelf
To remind myself how to pick me up again when I fell
I send the bad me good thoughts on postcards
To tell myself that some days are just hard
The bad me is cold, careless and not at all nice
She likes to indulge in every frowned upon vice
Yet I accept the bad me just as I do the good
Tomorrow might be a better day and the good me will win in all likelyhood