The travesty is, beautiful boy,
That the silhouette you cast when
You're above me
Shines brighter than the
Stars behind you.

My first real job
was trying to glue
blown up teenagers
back together.
I was twenty, old.
I held them in my arms
and told them lies
while they cried and died.
Told them it was ok,
they were fine, going home.
Their spirits lodged in
the secret chambers
of my broken heart.
I can never forget.
Their faces stick
in in my brain
like photos in a wallet.
I will never forgive
those who sent us to die
and then treated us
like mad, pariah dogs
if we made it back.
But we knew what we knew.
He today who sheds
his blood with me
shall be my brother.
Brothers in arms.
Brothers forever.

A blanket of warmth
Starry skies
An orange sunset
Crickets singing on summer nights
I’m alive again
All of my senses are awakened
Who is this girl that dreams so vividly
Lost in the dark places, remaining in the shadows
No one seems to be aware
That she’s long gone
A polished me
Chipper hellos
Cheery goodbyes
Are we all so blind
That we enjoy the illusion
And prefer the facade?
I’m thirsty for something more
For authenticity
Real words
Shocking humanity
Resting in the thoughts of those like me
Who see the world differently
Who are forced to grin and bear it
Before the ultimate surrender

I cry missing you, too, you know.
I never know how
To tell you.
Because it is always when you're
Happy
And I just
Can't
Ruin it.
It's when you're out somewhere laughing
And I wait for you to come back
That I feel how far away you are.
Or days
Just days when I am alone and silent
And maybe I just don't feel you through your words
Like I usually can.
And eventually I can't do it anymore
And I sit down
Head in hands
And cry because I can't touch you
Because I can't look at you.
It breaks my heart in a new way
One I've never felt before
And have never grown strong against.
My only real strength is in anger, and
There can be no anger in it
Because you are still mine, and I yours.
There is nothing to be strong against, just the waiting, and some days I can't bury it deep enough
And tears well up.
I miss your skin.
I miss your eyes and your soft hair.
I miss your voice in my ear.
I miss holding your hand.
And I don't hide it from you,
Far from, I tell you every day as you tell me.
But this...
This sadness.
I don't want it.
It cloys at me.
And I don't want it
Cloying at you.
And so sometimes I still sit in it and cry
Because you aren't angry with me
And you love me
And you speak to me every day
And you're the most wonderful person
I've ever met
And you're
So far
Away.