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 Aug 2020 David Flemister
Amelia
falling in love

laughing for real full minutes and it doesn’t stop being funny every time i think about it

music loud windows down driving fast alone

jealousy

rage with hitting and screaming

physically too hot

guilt

being almost home

smiling or crying at a painting

right after finishing a really good movie late at night wide awake

having to fight another person physically to stay alive

seeing the person you love the most get really hurt or die

finding out a favorite Facebook friend died from RIP posts

not being able to leave

right after finally being done being mad and crying for hours

high on ******

*** that makes you cry

kissing someone special for the first time
idk just thinkin
 Jun 2020 David Flemister
Amelia
i tell you "i really like your hair-
it's so blonde-
it was black the last time i saw you"

"and just plain brown when we
were halfway in love"
i say to myself.

i don't really miss you in that way anymore
but it's nice to think back on-

"all of your new tattoos
and your new hair-
it's so blonde-
you look like a new person"
i tell you.

"so do you" you reply.

we both smile.
 Apr 2020 David Flemister
Amelia
I am so alone that I am choking on it
so many people love me and nobody knows me;

fading tattoos on my body like an epitaph for my heart.

Littered in bruises from people I don't know
but
they might as well be from me.

It's still a better day than yesterday.
my writing isn't good anymore
 Nov 2018 David Flemister
typhany
but i am putting it down
until it hurts
and grips me vicariously
'til i'm twisted around-
i'm turned into a mug's handle

it's the same plastic feeling
i had before
i miss the solid glass,
and the strips of wood
i teased with my angel fingers

the mirror couldn't see me
today
i didn't let it.
how could i?
my eyes are too small, here

shaggy planet earth
was invaded in 1981
beginning with my first soul:
i was so young
i didn't know better

tossed out, i'm left to drink up
the abundance of this world.
swallowing more light and dark
than my small eyes can;
i turned to ethanol.

hemingway entered my life
in the fall of '09
i couldn't have been more in love.
maybe that's why
i'm pen in one hand, drink in the other.
It’s rather difficult to comprehend what’s going on in situations of mass chaos
There’s a man laying in a pool of his own blood, next to a young child with his arms detached, a box of knives, a pile of rags, an overturned safe.
How can one possibly make sense of it all with the constant buzzing of the fan…
Slaughter
Blood
Chaos
Calm
That’s how it happens
Lives so precious taken in an instant, from the conception of the ****** carried through to this serene silence of the scene at hand
Calm
That’s where we are now,
the tranquil peace of the absence of life, no struggling, no pain
just vacant stares and the crimson red of the blood pooling around their bodies
There’s something beautiful about the silence  
something that draws you in, yet the eerie nature of it brings you a sense of dread
A sense of dread that I created
…drip
          …drip
                   …drip
I think to myself, it must be raining outside, but I know that can’t be true…
I look down to see my palms are raining blood
 Nov 2018 David Flemister
Amelia
Sometimes
I get scared
that maybe
I don't like
the things that I like.

That my yearning
to be liked
has caused me
to lie to
myself.

The scary part is
I don't know
if I'm right or wrong.
 Nov 2018 David Flemister
Amelia
x
 Nov 2018 David Flemister
Amelia
x
i am afraid to face you sober.
i don't want to look into eyes that aren't dilated.
don't read me passages from your book about living clean.
i like you when you're high.

when you're sober you don't like me.
when she was sober she didn't like me.
why doesn't anyone like me.

i am not afraid of reality.
i am afraid to be your reality.
tw: drug addiction
 Nov 2018 David Flemister
Amelia
The girl whose hair
sits like yarn upon a very pale doll.
All mysteries
are solved for her.
She asks questions:
"Do you have any dope?"
"How far away is your guy?"
"Eighty for a gram?"

At least
she is
curious.
TW: Drug use
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