dear
autumn
take all
the leaves
but
let
your heart
gently breathe

The dandelions are new today
Up on the mountain top
Blades of new grass are alive today
Up on the mountain top

I came to pray to renew today
Up on the mountain top
On my knees in the dew today
Up on the mountain top

Asking for help I'm askew today
Up on the mountain top
Searching for the god I knew today
Up on the mountaintop

long
lonely
hours
of
heart
breaking ;

The dumb fool says,
“Forget and forgive!”
“Move on!”
“Get over it!”

The wise man says,
“Forgive but do not forget.”
“Move forward.”
And
Holds you while you cry a river.

Spiraling
                down
                          a pit
                                  of anxiety.

                     When suddenly


                          A

                          f

    ­                      r

                          e

           ­               e

                          f

                  ­        a

                          l

                         ­ l

                    headfirst
                    short
                    sharp
            ­        burst.

                          And then

P     r     o     c     r   a    s    tination
spilled         un   e   ve       nly

           on a tiled bathroom floor.

In and out
This is all I can do
Inhale, exhale
To not scream

Food has no taste
Nothing matters
I can’t live here
Your shadow occupies every corner of New York

I feel chains creeping over my body
Tightening every time I hear your voice
Or see you stroll to fill your water bottle
I’m so replaceable to you

You lost 5 pounds
I lost the same
We both lost ourselves
But at the end now, Truth remains

The sun has set forever
Joy, fun, gentleness, all pulverized into dust
It has congealed and covers the streets
Under an unending layer of ice

Am I just a creature to you?
Did you mean anything you said?
Now I’m stuck, reckoning with these questions
I haven’t heard from you in weeks

You’ve changed my life
Transformed my eyes
I see you everywhere
It seems I haven’t made a dent in your heart at all.