He talks to me,
In dreams,
When I wake up,
When I sit at the writing desk,
Quill in my hand.
He made me feel safe.
Who are you?
I am Hyde.
Why are you in my head?
To guide you. To help you. To love you.

He spoke to me everyday,
His deep and subtle voice lingering
In the back of my mind,
Never interrupting  when I spoke,
Never intervening in my actions.
I felt compelled to keep him close,
To drag him from the dark confines
Of my subconscious and let him
Perch behind my eyes so he could see what I see,
Behind my mouth so he could say what I say,
Behind my heart so he can live like I live.
We became one.

But one day he changed.
He grew stronger,
Louder,
I felt his phantom presence
Fuse with my bones,
Wrapping his fingers around my ribcage,
Cutting off the air in my lungs.
It was suffocating,
Letting him take over me,
To overpower me.
I tried to send him back to Hell,
Back to the dark confines
That I so willingly and half-heartedly
Pulled him from,
But I was weak and I was foolish.

I felt the sinister urges boil beneath my skin,
Felt the need for destructive satisfaction with each pulse,
He didn't want to hurt people,
I did.

I gave myself to him,
And now I am his puppet.
A tragic love story between
A troubled body
And a chaotic mind.

This is about the girl who fell in love with the moon.
Resting against the cold glass window at night
To get a glimpse of the light on the side she laid eyes on
And wondered about the darkness she would never get to see.
This is about the girl who fell in love with the stars.
Watching them sparkle and shoot across the sky.
She shed a tear knowing these stars were long diminished
And wondered if she as well would leave such a lasting mark.
This is about the girl who fell in love with the rain.
Falling fast asleep to the quiet drops on the pavement
With colors forming through the heavy mist,
And wondered if she could ever be as beautiful as a rainbow.
This is about the girl who fell in love with the ocean.
Sinking her toes in the sand while breathing the salty air,
Noticing the fish swimming easily through the blue water
And wondered if she could glide through life the same way.
This is about the girl who fell in love with the sun.
Lying in the swaying grass, feeling a soft breeze on her cheeks
Only to be shaded by the birds flying free under the light
And she wondered if she could one day be as free.
This is about the girl who fell in love with solitude.
Curled up with the dusty pages of her favorite book
Reading of the lover’s who share their lives together,
And wondered if one day she might share her solitude.
This is about the girl who fell in love with you.
With the way your body wrapped around hers,
How you could command a room with the warmth of your smile
And she wondered if one day she could call you hers.
This is about the girl who fell in love with too many things.
Realizing none of them would ever be hers,
Knowing she had no one to share them with.
And she wondered if she would always feel so alone.

What is a friend who loves you,
when you have no kindness left?
or a man that desires you,
but to care, is considered theft?

Is family really forever?
I cannot love a missing father.
Nor one that has replaced,
and destroyed an identity in a culture.

Am I selfish to be alone?
These feelings are conflicting.
I've reached the point of a mind,
that is purposely forgetting.

I don't want to have attachments,
for I want to be nobody.
To find serenity in a world
where everybody craves somebody.

For every time you swore that I wouldn't make it
For every instance that scorn crept into every unsaid word
You never needed to disown me mother for I was never yours
I let you rip at the very stones of my foundation in your attempt
To assure my failure so I would know your contempt
But you failed, mother, because you are so blind
Without you I struggled but the way I did find
Even though there were times I didn't think I could take it
How do you sleep at night knowing that you have forsaken
Your only son; I hope it has taken
A grave toll on your hard black soul
I hope you rip at your bloodless flesh in your dreamless sleep
And torment yourself with a hate that's violent and deep
Let's both be honest here, though, because we both know
That you are glad that I am gone
But in spite of you I have struggled on
To build a life worth living, so I didn't end up like you
I can't even imagine how you live like you do
Every day cold and grey, every miserable hour the same
Every problem not your own for everyone else is always to blame
You can't even see how broken you have become
From you perch where you judge what others have done
I hope you see me far below, standing strong and tall
And remember that no matter what happens I refuse to fall
I hope fear creeps into the cavity of your chest
I hope it disturbs you every time you try to rest
And I hope it leaves you depressed, knowing I have risen
Knowing that you couldn't **** me when you thought it was a given
I am going to become something you have only dreamed of
Before your dreams disappeared and were replaced by fears
That destroyed you and rotted your core
And left you broken and unable to shed tears or feel anymore
I pity you, mother, for you are all alone
But I will never forgive you for the things you have done
What kind of monster are you, who could turn her back on her own son
You made me feel so worthless and incapable
You taught me that unhappiness is oppressive and inescapable
All you ever taught me has proven to be a lie
Planted in my head so that you could watch me die
But for every seed of doubt you planted that rooted in my head
I ripped them out because I would have rather been dead
Than forever incapacitated by the poison you applied
Only then did I understand that you had already died
I think of you every day, I fight against the memories I have
I can't help that at times they make me sad
But they make me want more for myself than what you said life offered
And I will fight for every inch until the day I die
I will fight for a better life because I know the reasons why
I am worthy and good and not a victim of your lies
I am loved and I love others, I am honest, I am good
I am everything that your sad existance never understood