With one message you've resurrected the storm inside
I thought I was done. Free. The feelings had died
After so much time not knowing the verity
I finally wanted to break my austerity
But I was there the night you said
'It's never going to happen'
Finally the light had been shed
At a party, in front of all our friends
You shattered the glass that held my looking lens
Too nervous, too scared to admit how I felt
No longer an issue after the cards you dealt.
I should have stopped you right then, and walked away for good
But I wasn't strong enough to let you go like I should
So I carried on with our normal, playful banter
While our friends joked, never knowing I got my answer
I even posed, while our photo was taken
No reason to let on I was completely shaken
So I smiled brightly and flipped my curled hair
Knowing full well, you didn't care
I skipped my turn, to let you roll the die
Because I thought you needed it, and I was too shy.
That night ended in tears after I walked home alone
Because you wanted to stay and 'talk' with another girl's hipbone
I cried because my fairy-tale illusion
Had reached its climatic conclusion
I cried because for three long years
You had me listening to the music of the spheres
I cried because I experienced real heart ache
And you felt nothing because I had been opaque
I sobbed into the early morning, never before so upset
Thinking I wasn't good enough because I wasn't brunette.
And like clockwork you texted me with no shame
But that next day, I was done playing your game
Gone were the long days we would spend together
Gone were the nights outside enjoying the weather
I guess we were just another high school cliche
Acting the part, playing the role while on display
But as soon as our houses came into view
The charade would end, and you'd bid me adieu
I can't tell you how many times I would look next door
Searching for any sign of you on the second floor.
I made myself believe you needed me
No. I was convenient, your guide in the sea
June 15th we said our final goodbyes
I watched you leave with no emotion in my eyes
So here we are, graduated and all
Low and behold, I get your call
The possibility of you moving to my town
The chance of seeing you around
Doesn't create that same internal feeling
I guess I have nothing left worth concealing.
Some call it coincidence, others call it fate
It's a second chance, my golden ticket to set you straight
We'll step back into our same old routine
New city, new faces, same scene.
So set up the board, pick your favorite piece
Move to San Diego, sign your lease
I'll even let you go first, play your best hand
I guarantee you'll be out-manned
Let's play this again, encounter new bruises
Whoever falls first, though - looses.
Confused and annoyed.