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Corina Apr 2013
1
there are 24 hours in a day
no, that's not true
not since i know you

there are some hours in which i sleep
but while awake
there's only one hour
that counts as real

'cause i'm always waiting
from the moment i wake up
until the moment, it's almost time to sleep again
this hour finally appears

and in this hour
i'm begging time to stop
i want to stretch this one hour
until my whole life fits

but it's only 60 lousy minutes
60 wonderful, extacing minutes
and they're going really really fast

And when they're past
i'm left here, waiting
waiting for another day
which has the same short combined moments of time
in which my love
is finally online
Corina Nov 2015
3 days of silence
of hoping
fearing
what's going on?

Your name
is so big in my mind
your silence
has never been this long

All I know
is what you told me
the promise I now hope
you didn't keep

All I know is
they will not tell me
if my fears are true

Silence
will be my last answer
Corina Jan 2016
Ik neem
niet graag afscheid
iemand in mijn hart
blijft daar
voor altijd

Maar jij
zo hard en streng
deed altijd je best
niet te veel te voelen

Jij
sluit je hart
af
alsof het een deur is

ik ben niet meer nodig
dus jij
zonder een woord
verdwijnt
voorgoed
Corina Mar 2015
Sanity is gone, as well as the light
and all we have now, is a room full of phantoms
and a soul that won't stop
screaming

I'm a raving lunatic
writing words like they're the opposite
of what I need:
salvation
Corina Jul 2012
the black pain inside my bones keeps screaming
and i have nowehere left to hide

the consequence
of failing

of seeing your life
falling slowly apart

and i don't know why
the constant agony
the madness
the fear inside my longs

and i don't know why
i never asked
this question before

and i don't know how
i can stop asking

i don't know why
it's here at all

but what will happen if
i'll never get better?
Corina Nov 2014
I want to write poems like scented candles
and turn the entire room into something else
I want to be able to move you to tears
just by what i'm saying

I want to describe a flower in a way you can see it
and smell or touch it if you please
I want you to be able to read your misery or heart desires
into the words about mine

I want to fill you with my emotions
Be happy, be sad, think that the world's incredible!
Wonder about my life for a while
And never stop reading my words
Corina Apr 2013
Do you ever think that maybe
I am just a product of your fantasy?

Your imagination
Creating someone
almost perfect

almost close enough to touch you
almost sweet enough to kiss.

Do you ever imagine
that i am not real
but only product of your imagination?

And i envy your mind
being able to create me
and still having the patience
of only almost to meet
Corina Apr 2015
I'm supposed to be happy
today is the day that I got what I wanted
I got it right here in my hand
and it represents thousands of possible future's

then why do I want to crawl back in bed an cry for forever?

In a new house
You get to start over
a new beginning
isn't that what you wanted?

Just think of what is possible now
your biggest dream unraveling
a future
filled with rainbows

don't go to bed
don't cry forever
just because
you'll be alone
Corina Mar 2016
A man died for his God today
took some others with him
decided their fate
and made the world
just a little more broken

A man stood before God today
His life is over
or just beginning
depending on what God says
He says I can't leave it like this

you caused pain
increased suffering
there's a world down there screaming for justice

He says I can't leave it like this

I see your heart
it's dark
but also broken
I know your pain
and how it came to this


A man died for his God today
he left a world behind
screaming for justice

but a God died for men some day
He died for this man
He died for this mess
He died for justice
but mostly for love
Corina May 2017

Snow fell on the battlefield
white purity falling trough bullets
a blankets between grenades and snipers
snow never feared death
but does he want to live?
Corina May 2017
The moment
one bullet
entered your back

a thousand
bullets
crushed my heart
Corina Mar 2012
she
watched him
as he did the breakfast-dishes
walked out the door
not noticing her face

she
went out
looking everywhere
for a peace of hope on a face

he
riding his car
did not know
what the word 'love'
meant

me
seeing her face
not noticing the meaning
of the things that didn't change

he
coming home
only asks what she made for dinner

she
watching him eat
couldn't explain
why her food turned cold

evening
even colder then the day before
and she
embraced
her nothingness
Corina Oct 2014
Go to sleep now
go to sleep
my angry boy

Go to sleep
forget how the world
treated you

Go to sleep now
don't let your anger
poison you

Go to sleep now
and dream
about forgiving

Go to sleep
put your head
on my lap
and sleep

And know
your girl
will always love you
Corina Dec 2014
there are nails somewhere deep inside my skull
making my head bleed will stop me from screaming
which shouldn't make sense but it doesn't
it's 3 am, you shouldn't be
anything but sleeping unless you are dead but
biting the blanket will keep me from screaming another
few seconds, the blankets that cannot even
stop me from shivering, no one will know
i keep long nails for nights like forever
feels so long ago
nails make me bleeding 'cause
pain is better than pain
and tears will flow anyway
Corina Feb 2015
Do not open your eyes
convince yourself it's night
just stay in bed
don't think too much
keep the world at distance
you can't be blamed for being asleep
Corina Mar 2015
Some days it's raining
you filled the sky with colours for so long
and I filled rivers with my tears
when I was with you..
and more when we're apart

But rivers
can cross a lot of nations
ignore borders
and come close to me again
Are you close to me again?

I love you
for you were my biggest mistake
and my truest love
my best friend
and a stranger, even when we lived together

Are you floating towards me again?
Or will you stay out of my reach, and let me
wondering
If you're still inside this sky
Corina Mar 2012
all i wanted was you to touch me
knowing if you would i'd scream

never scream
it'll make people realise
you still got a backbone

never scream
it'll make people realise
you might still survive

never scream
it'll make me realise
terrors never stops at midnight
Corina Apr 2012
beautiful
imperfect
i can list a thousand things
that i've done wrong

beautiful
so guilty
there's blackness inside
my heart

beautiful
so tired
strugling to stay alife

beautiful
forgiven
today Christ makes a new start with me
Corina Feb 2015
my biggest fan is off
gone somewhere
other people are cooler now

i see no longer
his turning blades
but this new silence makes me concentrate

i lost someone
but it's okay
a fan just moves air anyway
Corina Nov 2014
I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming, if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe
you actually dumped me

I'm still calling you to see
to see what?
i don't know
but i keep calling
hoping for your voice

and maybe
next time you'll answer
tell me it's allright
and you will love me
forever
like you promised you would*

You stopped calling me to see
if i'm okay, when you're not around
Let me ask you if you love me
because i love the way you make it sound

I left my suitcase
unpacked for months
maybe i thought i could still fly back
you should be waiting for me somewhere

The world has lost it's way
it's so hard sometimes
I was in love with you
and you took that away

You should let me call you
tell me if you're okay when i'm not around
Asking if you love me
did i try to hard
to make you smile?
Corina Jul 2012
i broke down 10 years ago
and i never lost the hope
of this world being
without me

i fell down a year ago
and i got to opportunity
of learning how to walk again
being adult

i got sick two months ago
and i got to see the world
time passing by
without me living it

i faced the truth only this week
my capability
of absolutely nothing

my whole world
slowly falling apart
very little pieces
even fighters
sometimes need a break
Corina Oct 2014
something is broken
the mechanism holding back the tears
is taking a break

your name
your face
our memories
everything turns my face into salt waters

and i don't know why

i should be over you
i should have moved on by now
i don't even like you right now

but just thinking
of you
or thinking about
why my face is wet

and i just loose it
again
CFS
Corina Nov 2015
CFS
This is my monster
my biggest weakness
my achilles heel
my fatigue

it's a tiger
inside me
always awake
I always have to be careful
walk on tip toes around it

this is my monster
it keeps me captive on the couch
it blames me
whenever I did something
I blame me
whenever I didn't do something

we're always fighting
I'm tired
of always battling my fatigue
Corina Dec 2014
God
became human
allmighty
helpless baby

and i will never
write a poem
or find the right words
to thank Him enough
Corina Nov 2014
Never fall in love with a cloud

I saw you in the skies,
and i started loving you

However short i had seen you, i thought you were going to rain
And all i had to do was go outside, and let you soak me

I could imagine us going on dates, and hitting it off, and one day getting married

You'd be all around me, and i inside you
Time would stand still, and we would be together for a short forever

but you're a cloud
you just floated away

and now you're gone

I've seen other clouds
but they didn't seem right
even weeks later, i'm still hoping for your rain
Corina Oct 2013
say my name
no
say your name
your name sounds better
like music

say it slowly
i want to taste both syllables
i want to hear the word
'lov'
Corina Mar 2012
how could you ever see the beauty that i have layed
so deep inside myself?

how will one ever know how i truely feel if i
keep lying?

you only saw my exocarp
would you've dig deep you'd find my mesotarp
how could you ever know that i
was talking 'bout my endocarp?

you don't even know these therms
thinking poems are but words
how could you ever care about
how i taste?

Within the shell is a single seed
open it in order to find me

plant it if you want to give me peace
Corina Nov 2014
there's this small
evil part of me

hoping you will get a boyfriend
for you to be happy
make plans to get married

and then it all to fall apart

so i could visit you
and say
'i would have bought you
Ben and Jerry's
but you just don't seem

Sad enough'
Corina Nov 2014
The sound of rain wakes me up in the middle of the night
it makes me want to open my window
and i don't even care my bed gets soaking wet

It's still raining when i wake up in the morning
I've never been this cold, but i also feel refreshed
It feels like the rain has gone inside me

I ditch the bus, and decide to walk today
The water is still pouring
There's no dry piece of street where i could place my foot

The rain embraces me, and makes me cold enough to have my body shaking
It makes me wanting to scream out of poor joy
I want to sing and dance and embrace the entire world

I can't remember being this happy, or this wet
and i can only hope it will never stop
raining
Corina Sep 2015
Fill your heart with black and white
It's looks
sophisticated
like you're a grown up

stay clear of grey
that would suggest you
are trying to change yourself

forget bright lights
ever existed
and keep the colours from your mind
Dag
Corina Dec 2014
Dag
De sluiers van de slaap
verdwijnen, het licht
was hier weer eerder dan ik, vandaag
goedemorgen, morgen
vandaag weer, een dag om
wie zal ik pijn doen?
Corina Mar 2015
It's so funny
how I always run from you
trying to convince myself I'm better off
trying to believe I could be
happy

It's so funny
how hard it is to convince myself
I'm not ******* depressed
How do I keep telling myself I have reasons to
live?

It's so funny
how hard I work to leave you behind
How hard I try to believe you're history
And try to forget I'm running from my own
shadow
Corina Dec 2014
They say it's darkest, right before the light
but as long as you don't see a light
how do you know if it will get any darker?
how do you know life is worth sticking around?

the christmas lights are everywhere
little stars, little lightbulbs
kitsch trying to spread some warmth
but i'm not sure those lights represent hope anymore

i don't want christmas to fool me into believing
but i know i need something to keep me going
i know, i should
turn around and face the Light
Corina Nov 2014
apperently time didn't stop
it's winter soon
but not the winter we thought it would be
single instead of married
i think we're better of this way
you know, lovers are lyers
love likes to be blind
we didn't belong together
but we forgot to look for the things we didn't want to see
you tried to control me
was always angry
i tried to manipulate you
anything to not loose you
i'm thankful for the crazy way you broke up with me
at least now it is over
you'll never tell me again what not to do
i'll no longer believe anything you say
hé, whatever you say, i don't even hear it
i couldn't even reach you if i wanted to
i guess that's good
i'm starting to like being single again
every future is possible
everything but you!
Corina Oct 2015
I'll sleep
trough your day
and you'll wake
in my night

Our words are
long distance
they travel
so fast

We talk
about hugging
but it's unlikely
we'll ever touch

Dear stranger
I just met you
so why do you feel
like a friend?

Dear stranger
I love you
this should
never end
Corina Feb 2015
De spin
hangt aan een zijden draadje
hij heeft dat draadje zelf gemaakt
nu maar gewoon er niet aan denken
dat dat draadje niet stevig is
Corina Dec 2014
They left their dishes around like something that could slap me
'just look Corina, this was our weekend
just smell the plates, imagine how much we enjoyed it
imagine all the fun we created
by not inviting you'
Corina Apr 2015
Walk down the stairs
keep walking
walking
walking
lower and lower
inside a well

No rest
for days on end just walking
downstairs, a step at the time
As long as numbness
still reigns your body
you're not low enough
to feel

Maybe gravity will crush you one day
or maybe
you'll even start crying
Corina Mar 2012
blink the light back
make your eyes strong enough
to never see again

the dreams
easily forgotten
always lived

you never knew why
you never knew why
you never knew

you never knew

i know
and therefor i'm forsaken

i knew
and therefor dreamed
Corina May 2014
i tend to believe what i dream
while knowing it's irrational
when i'm awake again
i stare wide opened eyes into life
waiting for a sign that proves the stories of the night
right - or wrong
depending what i saw last night
i beg the world to make it true, or prove it all a lie

I need to know my love is real
you are not a simulation
not a frigment of imagination
you're just a boy that loves me
but i tend to not believe that

for 23 years i dreamed about you
i dreamed about a future where i would be together
with a dreamy guy that worships me
of course i don't believe this to be real

you know how many worlds my mind created while i was sleeping
there're several each night
and i am brilliant enough to make most of them wonderful
but never as wonderful as reality which you

and that's why i need you to tell me
to touch me - to kiss me
use every way possible to tell me you are real
because i know - i'm smart enough to have created you
and i don't want you to be
just another dream
Corina Feb 2015
In reality
my dream prince didn't have a horse
couldn't even ride a bicycle
had no money for a car

His eyes weren't blue
or dreamy
But even browner
than his skin

And happily ever after
lasted only until
he kicked me out
Corina Dec 2014
I'd spent all the money that i don't have
if it made me not tired for an entire day
i'd give up years of my life
to feel good for a while
but if i can never do that
and spent my whole life being weak
i'll still
write awesome stories
Corina Sep 2015
It's both too early
and
too late

but you didn't tell me
anything

left me to guess
is your history a landmine?
Did the world hurt you just as bad
as it hurted me?

You didn't say

All you said was
it's both early and late

and kept the rest
a mystery
Corina Jan 2016
Echo's
is all there is left
we're fading
a small place in history
we're now
only
a memory
but I keep hearing
echo's
of the days
we were in love
Corina Jul 2015
Hoog daarboven
het vliegtuig
neemt mij niet mee

Ik blijf achter
staar in de verte
reis een jaar terug in mijn hoofd

Toen vlak voor me
een vliegtuig
want nieuw leven
begon vandaag
Corina Nov 2014
Energy is important
i learned that the hard way
lights are out, and i'm tired
you can't reach the same brightness with candles.

My bed became my greatest friend
i couldn't even read
all my small achievements
start with electrons in a wire

Even dishes have to be done
by hand, in a dark kitchen
but i'm not sure if i will
find the strength to get up again

Even music became impossible
i got the art of silence
but once in a while i'll have a good day
and open my pc to some youtube
Corina Oct 2015
Don't lie
it's not raining
it never rains
inside

The emotion
you never try to feel
it's here

This is just
you
crying
about the past few months


Don't flee
don't add today to the pile off
undealt emotion
don't add to your own weight
with chocolate

Don't hide
Accept that you are feeling
Accept that life is hard
stay in your emotions
and deal with them
today
Corina Feb 2015
I keep ending things too early
like conversations
and friendships

I don't know what to say
and don't want to admit i am scared, so
Why not just leave it

Close the door behind me
take a long walk instead

But why is it só hard
To admit I want to go back?
Corina Feb 2015
English is not the language of love
the reason my boyfriend left me
is still trying to win my heart
'can love if i'm' are his broken words

life forced him to learn too many languages
when he was fleeing from country to country
from the people who murdered his family

I wish I could let him flee into my heart
but it's not a safe place
I am warground
grenades of trauma's and lost love still wound me
Don't try to come inside my heart
I closed my borders
don't give asylum

I'm not safe
It wouldn't be fair to you
to let you in
for I would wound you
like 'he' wounded me
while you saw us
breaking up
Corina Feb 2015
English is not the language of love
My heart often got lost in translation
My heart often fell off a plane while
trying to place itself in another country

How many times
didn't I confuse my lovers
with language new to them?

And how many times did they
not get to transfer a message
because the words were too hard to translate?

English is not the language of love
our hearts aren't native speakers
the translations
keep us too far apart
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