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Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
I've found a place you can't touch
a place where you're hidden,
tucked away
You're not even up yet
so you barely even exist
I'm blowing smoke out my driver's side window
the extravagant houses flying past
their enormous trees and driveways
glowing in the sun's rays
No one is on the street
not even the BMWs and Mercedes
just me
with my music blasting
and the gardners
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
I looked up  Bell's Palsy on the internet yesterday
I always expect the worst
cancer
deformity
disappointment
If I expect it, will it lessen the blow?
or is it a waste
and I'll die in my sleep surrounded by loved ones?
Life has no guarantees
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
watching me always
sunken eyes in the birch trees
black holes in my mind
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
Now the lies that they've (we've) told have surely grown old
Childhood stories of growing up and the happiness it holds
melts into the facts
life clearly, it lacks
so she falls short and stumbles back to memories

"It's too hard to handle", she often would state
everything it seems, is a disappointing weight
By those who had once held onto her hand
the notions about the way they had told her to stand
"Hold your head up! Walk with pride! Look for rainbows!"
Now every single time she is loaded with woes
so she lays down and aspires for days spent in memories

And I never really thought what they said could be true
well I guess I did in daydreams when the sky was clear blue
By examining their faulty smiles
their faces as long as the Nile
I would give up and fall back into memories

Sometimes I wish I was stupid and young
I tell myself in all honesty and with my mouth open sung,
"If I wanted I could just disappear and then cut"
So every once in a while when my eyes are held shut
and her (our) body lays in blood and lost memories
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
The windows of the plane are tiny
Normally they would make me feel anxious
and claustrophobic
but not today

It's raining
the sky is gray and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach too many times and now it's numb
My mouth is dry and most likely it'll only get drier

I said "I love you. I'll miss you."
and we parted ways.
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
light bleeds past curtains
stale bread waits with cold coffee
bills slipped through the door
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
the child is still born
pink skies melt in the background
time for work again
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