there are times where i remember everything you have given me. you taught me the best things and the worst. you taught me how to love with all my heart, and how to hate with every inch of my soul. there are times where i remember the way you use to look at me. when you use to pay attention, nod your head in awe of what i had to think, of what i had to feel. you use to look so golden, even underneath the moons pale gaze and the cigarette smoke against your breeze-chilled skin. i use to look like a ghost. only visible to your eyes. there are times where i remember everything you told me. remembering that i have the power to leave the cold bath water if i pleased. that i had the power. you use to always be there for me. you always use to protect me when i needed it the most. i could call you and you'd be waiting for me on the other end. i always did the same for you. i still would. i remember the times you use to love me. when i was your favourite, and we'd dance around in the darkness, unafraid and young. before our cigarettes turned stale, our lipstick running out, you use to love me. it seems now the track has stopped, the feelings gone; unamused and full of malice, you used to love me. you used to. and now you've used me entirely.

-the first layer

conceptcollection

steam sticks to my body
a lightened breath escapes my chest
its just another one of all the rest
my vision is going blurry, i can't seem to forget anymore
i wish they'd be able to see my dead body on the floor
its too hard to see, too hard to breathe, too hard to ever be me
i can't find myself amongst the steam
and the bath water turns colder than ice and my bones start to freeze
and i can feel my heart being pulled on a leash
keep pulling it, drag is across the glass shards until it bleeds
cover my mouth and smack me when I scream
i can't bare to live this life anymore, let the currents take me under the sea
but what hurts the most is what people want me to be
that I want to be that, but something stops me
like the dark room, the chains, the humility
i remember that one day where they all touched me and now I can't even look at my own body
i can't compliment myself sincerely
i can't look good in the eyes of those who love me
i can't speak on behalf of this or else they'll catch me
so let me rot, let me go down
deep into hells burning grounds.

-burning

conceptcollection

home is where the yelling subsides into waves crashing on the shore
where gnawing teeth turn swiftly to the gentle pale blue sky
to cut through its slumber and infinite beauty
between my sheets my body lies naked
i touch gods cheek, his hands and then chest-
a million tiny clouds dangle over snake shaped rivers as he caresses my inner thighs
bruising them with purple, blue, black
there is a bleeding orifice between our love.
a heart floating within the stomach
a lung touching the brain
running noses, sleeping men with their prostitutes, crying children
a symphony of average humanity
in the land of ancient gods we fly
inside me a galaxy unfolds.

-spectacular

conceptcollection

drive me up north where the ****** pierce the sky with devilish cries
two children lost, each descending from the sky
contains a secret and inner desire
four legged monster crawl up my thigh
deteriorate under the hands you once saw golden and in flesh
your feeble bones are no match for me.
eyelids will drop in the midst of a beautiful sunrise
symphonies of blue, pink and grey
and we laugh like lost lovers
stuck between light and dark
when you finally take off my two piece white dress you will unravel the universe before you
a cosmic eruption between ribs and thighs
wet ******* and lace in graved in skin
cherry on top with a strawberry milkshake
a spectacular explosion.

-your golden babe

conceptcollection

there is an alabaster rising in the sun
as bodies cramp against each other
a slow release with hands casting each other aside-
a ****** lip is not just metaphorical for violence but pure, spring love
an angelic symphonic body of noise that preaches a tale of disparity and dependence
it was heard in the way you stalled your guitar chords
and the way you gracefully held your breath.
there was a moments relapse where i was naked and sprawled out on the floor
where i let my monstrous feelings know that i was willing to let them take me under
and despite this you finally heard my croaked yell for help
and now here you are-
my love, my lover,
amidst your busy darkened schedule you are here with me
so much that you would seep into the suns golden rays and a mornings frost bitten kiss
to protect me and tell me that
i am yours.

-my pledge to you

conceptcollection

the gentle mascara that moulds her eyelashes clings to the white pillow cases
a mixture of doubts and heavy breathing underneath
the suffocating sky awakens
an ancient feeling within her damaged heart
head swaying, shaking back and forth
piercing the night sky with her pained screams yet no one comes to her rescue
no one attempts to once hold the dying woman as she spends her time
watching her empty life like a tragic movie
every moment after wretched moment
16 years that had 99 issues and 1 solution that she could never attain
she was never able to be okay
the gun now speaks a somber song
of love and death and immortal happiness
when the pain is vanquished and the night becomes still
that is when her soul will leave this world
and all you'll have left is a childish laugh
and a mascara stained pillow.

-crying will always be in fashion

conceptcollection

loose bones move around my body
dissolving tums and pills
drinking alcohol, sangria filled lungs
desert kisses and the poisoning of the eye
bleeding with the dying ******
swaying to the sound of his slow beating heart
a painted tiger and a burst of hearts
a feeling of rough hands against my *******
moaning to the vibrations of your vinyl collection
teenage death girls and the penalty of life
a monstrous collage of satin sheets and tongue against bodies
drinking orange juice from collarbones and hips,
pink wine, black wine, bottles on your lips
as you burn, die, dissolve
at last, a wine that tastes besides the vine
besides the vine.

-i'm loving you loving me boy

conceptcollection