I'm not sure if it's all just contrived,
But I'm trying.
I no longer care about pride,
But I guess I'm lying.

It's not easy to sit here,
And force the inside of my mind
To flood out of my fingertips.
But I'm trying.

I'd say it's complicated,
But I guess I'm lying.

I use to dream about jumping on trains and riding away
But now I know how slow they go
I would run for miles so fast
So I could let my thoughts slow

I’ve always looked for something quick to take me or save me
Maybe that’s why I gave so many people my heart
And walked away
So pieces of my soul are moving everywhere
Even though my body has to stay.

But now I’m leaving the city
In only a few days
To a small, quiet place
Where the heart doesn’t fit
A loving coup de grace
I could stand on a grassy hill
And scream for my home
But the air here stands still
Here, I am alone.
A city doesn’t hear such pleas
When sound only projects out
So city, please.
Remember me.

As I run away
Thoughts overtaking me
I've signed off for good
Hating how much I need you

But you find me
With your busted finger
Resentfully childish
And everything that I've ever needed

i am a psychopath
i am the queen of terrifying confidence
i am a minipulator of truth
and lies
because i
am a psychopath
who has her eyes set
on the way she should be
on the reasons behind what they think about her
hurt
it swirls around inside yet i dont feel it
it scrapes away at the walls of my heart
which should be painful
why not
because i am a psychopath

I get lost in my reveries
The biscuits are all ruined
Burned to a blackened crisp
I keep forgetting what I’m doing.
I don’t scold myself that much
I have gotten used to this state.
I’ve been this way ever since
I discover *** was so great.

Too soon ******
Too late wise.
It seems like I can’t
Believe my own eyes.
Living in a fantasy
I avoid using a knife.
It can mean catastrophe
When up against real life.

It shuts up all the voices in me
That tell me what a ****** I am.
It makes a wonderful movie of
What used to be a lifelong scam,
Where I once had not been worthy
Suddenly I was a loquacious stud.
Cannabis took me to the mountain
And out of the ordinary mud.

Too soon ******
Too late wise.
It seems like I can’t
Believe my own eyes.
Living in a fantasy
I avoid using a knife.
It can mean catastrophe
When up against real life.

But somebody should have warned
That soon it takes over your life.
It makes you forget work and bills
The chores and even the wife.
A forty something thirteen year-old
Is mostly what I have now become.
Parts of what I knew as my mind
Have become deaf, blind and dumb.

Too soon ******
Too late wise.
It seems like I can’t
Believe my own eyes.
Living in a fantasy
I avoid using a knife.
It can mean catastrophe
When up against real life.