to: aleph

hey
there's so much things going on in these last two weeks. at least in my head. you left. i closed the door loudly. i locked it and i hoped that you could hear the sound of the locks clicking. ( but i didn't want you to hear how my hands was shaking when i was looking for the right key).

all i want to say is i'm sorry. i'm sorry i don't tell you enough, i'm sorry that i told you too much things that doesn't matter. i'm sorry i treat you like another ego-booster. i'm sorry i acted like i didn't care. i, in fact, really care about you and it hurts me to see you think that i don't.

please never forget the way i looked you in the eyes when we listen to that verse together.

i wish i was braver, i'd break this silence that's been killing me. but then again, if i was braver, i would have told you i love you a thousand times.

i'd say "i'd do it all again", sweetly like in one of our favorite songs, but no, i'm not brave enough, and we destroyed each other too much.

--status: draft. 26.3.2015 22:47

lay your head to rest
let your smiling sanity take over
blast my favorite song out loud
let it numb you then fight back
paving roads isn't a job to be done alone
but the bridges i burned will keep you warm

start with my lost promises-
those said between lines and choruses
-between translation and interpretation

they say one way to avoid falling
is to never climb at all
but these are mountains i screamed your name on
and skies where i wonder if you see the same star

mop your spilled thoughts
and squeeze them into mason jars
you say i shouldn't simplify my dreams
but you're the one twirling in my sleep

let march flow just like last year
convince me that you'll never come back
*burn these keys for me
and pray that i'll forget my way home

i read somewhere
that when you can't sleep
someone's dreaming about you
i'm sorry
but last night i had three dreams
two of them are nightmares
nightmares about you
and you almost fell asleep in the bus this morning
i'm sorry

*i read somewhere
that when you have dreams, you are sleeping rather well