on this day of winged hearts
and chocolates
one tends to write about their
"better half," their lovers or husbands

This is not one of those.
I have no better half
I am an entity whole.
Woman proud and complete
deep down strata of soul
this union
is held
by the thread of our children
tender shoots growing
in our shared care
and even that thread is frayed

I write this valentine's poem
for the love of myself
for the knowledge that
when I love myself first
and the universe will give
and I will snip
that thread
so begging to be snipped
and fly off into the winds,
my three moonbeams
in tow
always at my side
They will never
cease their growing
under my watchful eye

I will be loved
like I am supposed to be
whether by another
or only me
for I now know what I need
Slowly
layers unpeel
and each day
I am more ready
So take your little
fluttery paper hearts
that you never
gave me anyway
and paste them all
over your own
for soon you will find
you might
need them

Today, I fell into a medication nightmare,
because I don't know why, I really don't care
I DON'T GIVE A ****!!
But I did give a dare !

I lied to you about past aggressions,
deep recessions and loud obsessions.
These jagged little pills are in my possession.

I swallow them whole, one after another,
the red one, the blue one, sister or brother,
see you don't know me any more,
So just look away
and don't even bother

These pills are my family, my welcome mat.
They say "HI, how are you, would you like a drink with that?"
They greet me in the morning and kiss me before my evening nap!!

They take walks with me from the cup to the sink,
three minutes later, my mind stops to think,
I stumble around in lucid dreams,
and two seconds later, I dropped that drink.

Body numbed and pill jar emptied
This medication nightmare just reached out
and bit me.
I opened my eyes and could not see clearly,
and said to myself "What day is it, please?"