The days are longer with out
you, even when the sky is
blue, I only see grey.

I walk in your footsteps,
I remember every step you
took, and I walk them every day.

I never open the bedroom
window, as your scent still
floats around in the air, when
I sleep its like your next to
me even though you are not there.

I look after you, make sure its
tidy where you rest. I miss you
my love but i know your not
gone in some way you'll always
be here with me even though
your not there..

thoughts can cut sharp as knives
deep into the inner flesh of minds mind
be careful what you think
what others may be thinking
pay no mind

And then one day I just loved you
I looked at you and it all came together
I saw us
as old people
having made it through so many trials but still holding on
It was the first time I had ever looked at a man
and saw the future version of him
all old
hairy
wrinkly
and fat
and LOVED him
I knew this old man had hurt me
probably had an affair or two
but I still loved him
I knew that we had suffered major grief
maybe there was a child lost
but I still loved him
We had survived babies
mortgages
and putting kids through college
We probably both had times
where we were so distant from each other
that hope was momentarily lost
but I still loved him
I saw this old man and all his imperfections
and me
old with all my imperfections
and I still loved us
And that is love
To know that this person will deeply hurt you
and you will deeply hurt them
and you see yourself loving them through it all
Even after you get bored with the ***
and you or they get fat
lose hair
or manufacture an abundance of nose hair
you still want them at your side
through thick and thin
That is love.

There's
           beauty
                      in
                           *silence.

I remember hanging out
with the gay guys
after work.
They worked the front of the house,
my buds & me in the back.
We wore loose blue jeans,
they strutted tight ones.
We smoked dope,
they smoked dope.
They drank beer,
we drank beer.
We talked about chicks,
they talked about *****.
And there was never any fear,
even when we got
****** & drunk.
Like ***,
we worked,
they worked,
gay or straight,
our fun was universal.

I wish to be up high, to float
where everything is free, to
be one with the currents let
the wind take me where I
wish to be.

To dive through the clouds,
shades of grey to let the rain
drops frozen waiting to drop
wash over me, refreshed as the
cloud dew coats me in droplet as
I burst through the clouds, like
diamonds shimmering in the sun.

I want to be one with clear blue,
to soar among the clouds, to float
upon high. To be in semi silence,
only the wind up here talks to me,
where I wish to be and where its
gentle but others times forceful push
will take me.

~

Naked?

On an island
in the midst of the crowded street
Traffic lights blink
as colored tear drops hit the pavement

One way signs
all seem to point in your direction
casting aspersions,
via black and white arrows

Sidewalks filled
with throngs of gawking onlookers,
mouths wide open,
peering from the side of their faces

You hang your head,
chin against your unclothed chest
and you see
not one, but two shadows on the asphalt

Suddenly you are
draped in the finest cloth money can buy,
shielded from the audience
who now divert their attention elsewhere

Turning, you see a friend,
naked, as his clothing now adorns your body
waving to the crowd
proclaiming…I have faced the same fate

In front of the mirror
Talk with the alter ego
Always with you
But the mirror mirrors it
Projecting the soul
Being very candid
Unnerving at times
Is that what you are?
Emulating your thoughts
Entrenched deep within
At some corner of your heart
The mirroring mimicry
Of you, via the alter ego
Leaving you naked and exposed
The psychological drama unfurls
Comprehending your psyche
Are you caught unaware?
By the awareness of the mirror
Inadvertently, we mirror our thoughts
Are you ready to face yourself?
It’s the toughest of all battles
So, hold some positive thoughts
As the mirror can proclaim you the fairest of them all
The unbiased verdict of the mirror


© Amitav (Radiance)

A love so violently gentle
in an impulsive kind of way
I felt so beautifully ugly
a thought, I heard myself say
                   You were always coldly warm
                    as we talked about our pasts
                    Showing your most hateful smile
                    that you often wore as a mask
A dry moisture upon my lips
still remains from our first kiss
when my hair so wildly tame
wrapped around your fingertips
                     Our heartbeats, silently heard
                      as life was passing by
                      A weight, as light as a feather
                      fell upon us from the sky
Now our completely happy nightmare
moves swiftly to an end
I find myself laughing angrily
at this situation I have penned

God made Adam
and then thought
I can do better than that

There are eyes watching,
gazing,
sizing you up,
waiting for the right time
to spring.

There are hungry tigers
on the street,
so beware sweet thing.