Shy girl
Hiding behind
Thick lenses
Dark frames

Shy girl
Hiding behind
Thick books
Long pages

A boy
Across the room
Fruitful glances
Stuttered glances

The boy
Across the room
Likes her back

Dear pillow,
Thanks for holding me when I sleep
Thanks for Greeting me when I wake
Thanks for Calming me right to sleep

You
Relaxing me
Comforting me
My best friend

Your words... they affect my feelings toward you...
Toward others...
They make me want to hide inside of myself...
Force me to know that whenever you speak to me...
It’s in anger or regret or maybe even compassion.
The words that you’ve spoken to me...They have hurt more than you think is capable.
Every time that you speak...It breaks me just a little more.
I never know what to say around you....in fear that.. you might get mad at the tiniest words that I may speak.
Your lies...
They’ve filled my head for years...
My whole life almost...
They occupy my thoughts...my mind... and most of all...my existence
The lies...the ones that you’ve taught me to believe in,
Sometimes just make me want to... scream ....at you...for making me believe them.
I should have known better than to...what was the word you’ve used?
Take you for your word.
You’ve always told me to do that.
I was once your....little girl you used to call me.
I was Daddy’s...Little Angel.
Your little Lee Lee.
My entire life...You haven’t been there for me.
You say that you are, but in truth....you never were.
When I was little you used to be...my hero.
Now, you’re rarely here...for the moments that matter in my life.
You haven’t been in a long time.
You may be here... physically, but... are you here...emotionally?
It seems that every time that you see me... you have to be... drunk or maybe high...
Just to get through my visit.
I thought that you were the one person... who was supposed to always be there for me!
I’m supposed to be able to look up to you.
To be able to just come to you just to cry over some stupid break up.
I’m not be the person that you think I am.
In reality, I’m a completely different person.
One that’s not afraid of anything.
One that’s not afraid to...stand up for myself ... to tell people how I want my life to be.
But now I’m taking a stand against your words and your lies.
I’m fighting for what I want and what I believe in.
You can stand on the side lines, if you like.
But never again will you stand in my way.

laid bare
i’m bleeding here
assaulted with rare forwardness
- i just didn’t know how to defend myself

a little panic
plays in my head
as securities are disarmed
and well hidden shadows of my self
start slipping out
pouring out
bursting out
out
out
out
(god, they want out)

making a fine mess of me,
you are
*and I am not even yours to mess with

Promises are allowed to be broken,
I promise.

I listen for clues. Perhaps you'll change your mind.

You can decide.
I wont attempt to influence.

It may be a lifetime,
but Its not that much.

I'm enamored.

I tried to tell you,
but I failed. My lips part,
lusting for words.
Instead just silent breath escaped.
It screamed for you.
but you couldn't hear.
you never saw.
You should have known.

Still I try, and fail.
A screaming heart,
without the courage to speak.

No idea what to say.
instead I'll just annoy.
ignore.
run.
RUN.
You won't make it.

Nobody ever makes it, anyway.

Its an impossible task.
for me at least.

I'll try again. But you know,
I'm doomed to fail.

And perhaps I never will,
see you again. And perhaps I never will,
speak to you so sweetly.
But darling, I swear,
From the second I saw you,
To the end of Eternity,
I will love you.
unfailing.
unfaltering.
unending.


I miss you.

Broken conversations,
empty lungs,
doors half open,
hearts almost out of love.

We used to talk of how
we used to be infinite.
But now every second now feels
like a stroke against an unforgiving current.

Our conversations broke
as the flaws of our souls
fell through the cracks of this glass foundation.

These upset words that escaped you
left the air around me a little sad,
a little awake,
and with a lot of echoes.

My lungs went empty
talking you down.

I left the door open for you.
So you can walk in
and slip in quietly-
I won't say a word.

And this heart could never go empty,
not mine.
Yours,
at this point,
I know not.

Flowers never lost their color
as long as you walked this earth.

To watch as my best friend disolves into tears
Because of you
To watch her hope and pray that you would still be there for her
To see her try to talk to you
To type messages to you to which you will never reply
To see her being there for you for months as you battled with yourself
To watch as you pushed her away
To accept your harsh words and say nothing as she was hurting so badly
But now, as you dance away into the sunset with someone else, I can not just sit back and watch you hurt her anymore because, as you know, this would break her and its not fair
You're a coward, that is all, a low life coward
And you leave me to pick up the shattered prices of someone you used to love
When you could have prevented it
And its not fair
But you are just a coward