I couldn’t
always be there.

It was as
simple as that.

And in a world
where everyone
  needs everything
to be at their
  beckoning call,

I just wasn’t
  good enough.

-Andrew Durst.

I'm 18 years old. All these 18 years, I've been alone, living in nearly complete silence. I always enjoyed being lonely and silent.
But since my near-death, this has changed. Now I hate being lonely, it eats away at me, it breaks me down. I used to live by silence, now the silence is slowly killing. The silence screams at me, telling me things I don't like. "You're nothing.", "You're no good to anyone.", "People don't want you around.". The silence burnt these words into my mind, I get reminded of them every day. I try so hard to just have at least 1 friend in my life, but now, I'm convinced even that is too much to ask...

Tis,
As I looked at his shadow...
Tis,
I realized his shadow was lonelier than I hadst thought!!!!

Shake dat Hart
Like a dancing bafoon
Shake dat Hart
Kus I needs it to
Sum be jealus
Dey fake demselfs
Dey live like hatas
Convincing demself

Some people really don't know what they got because they would know if they didint take their loved one's excetera for granted and I see way to many taking things and people for granted which soon same people who took those things for granite will probably more than. Likely loose what they took for granite and that would be own persons fault for taking for granite . just thought of this truth but noone thinks about that

Scissors a handbag for class and a sketch pad
To burn this baby down

Just that heavenly feeling
Of ones hand's with nail's dragging across mine chest,
Would giveth me such comfort
For tis the best...
Though no hand's
No nail's to rub across
Mine chest suddenly hurts again
To the cuddle not found in the hopelessly lost.

Dont read me...

Math
And science misfortune lecture on the anatomy ****** fluids
Always makes one's day better

(Mina)
I was so lost in her eyes
then she walked out of my life
Leaving me without directions, hopelessly,

I couldn't find a way
So as to run along
And get away
She took away a part of me....

(Brandon)
And as she tooketh a part of me
I couldst not let her go,
She is mine true amour',
Mine queen, that pulled me from below...

And as she pulled me up
The thunder cloud's broke,
I couldst feel ourn soul's
Uniting in ***** blood poke...

(Mina)
But she didn't keep our promise
And she doesn't seem to care,
Now I miss the scent of love
That once was in the air.

I know she had the right to go
Yet unfair of her to walk away,
For she broke our lifetime promise
The promise to stay!!!!

(Brandon)
As she broke ourn promise to stay
Tis was painful every day
Night for me was blackness
The moon was blood by pains...

As whilst the moon didst release
It's cruor in the dusk
Mine amare said she'd be here
Through the storm's of human bust...

But human's art not us
As tis we aren't them.......
So she walked away anyways
Leaving me a broken man

(Mina)
And here I am, writing of her
With the hope that she'll be back soon
I think I'm just going insane
My lonesome nights, talking to moon