You Make Me Laugh - Hello Poetry

Mar 2017

Gidgette

"A Robert Palmer please, and two ultras for my friends here." sais the over weight man in pink golf shorts.
Of course sir
"I bet she purrs like a kitten between the sheets. Haha!" whispers the man sitting next to the pink golf shorts
"Look at that ***!", laughs the grey haired checkered shirt
"I'll smack it when she brings our order, bro.",replies pink shorts
Here is your Robert Palmer sir.
And two ultras.
WHACK!
Squeeze
They laugh

Head dropped
Tears fall
Shame felt

Yellow Haired Servant Girl

I work spring, summer, and fall at a country club. I'm a waitress. As a single mother I put up with this rude behaviour on a regular basis. Next time you're out to eat, be kind to your waitress. She's a person too. And please, forgive my darkness as of late. I'm trying....

Mar 2017

Mark Tilford

I ask

When did humans loose the ability to be human

??

Mar 2017

Gidgette

Moonlit Minds

Well,
doesn't everybody just love a poet?!
No.
Poets love poets
And poets don't love poets
What poets do love poets,
Can't be together
We're all nuts, insane, delusional
Lunatics!
The lot of us!
Peering into souls,
dreaming about
"filth and flowers",
as my best poet friend says
Making **** up in our
Moonlit Minds
Bending to every breeze in spring and summer
Praying to every cloud that passes!
Dwelling in bubbles blown by children!

Beautiful Insanity
Loved, lusted for,
unloved, lonely

Who loves a poet?

Someday, I'm going to do a sound cloud recording of this particular piece, and ya'll are gonna be like,"***! Chicks lost her mind!"

Mar 2017

Blossom

Once upon a Procrastination

Procrastinate
It's when you wait
To do the things
You truly hate.

WORK CAN'T WAIT
Your conscious yells.
Instead you ponder
'bout cow bells.
Cuz if we need
Bells for our cows,
Why not small kids
Who wander 'round?
Kids that're smelly,
have round bellies
and seem to always
be cryin' and yelling?

At this point
You look to the fan
And see a fat fly
You wonder when it's gunna die
But your lazy cat,
Who has lazily sat
On the laziest looking mat,
Jumps like a boss
and with a paw toss
Swipes that fly
Into your left eye.
Right after the hit,
You scream...
FU<KING ****!?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

Now as you're half blind
A series of thoughts
Pop into your mind.
What if you die...?
All because of the fly?
What if it landed
In some ****?
What if that ****...
Is now in you?
You could get malaria...
Get lost in hysteria...
Nothing seems clear
Will you now never know
If Justin Bieber's queer?

Procrastination
Is when you wait
To do the things
You truly hate
But if you take
Too long to start
Karma bites you
In the ****.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Who else procrastinates more than actual work? Just me? okay then...

#poem #death #funny #thoughts #crazy #cat #work #lazy #truestory #procrastinate

Mar 2017

Gidgette

Courtesans

I am but a courtesan,
Mistress
***** of the moon
As are you
Though you deny this
Your denial, makes it ever more true
Promiscuous beings,
We
Dwellers of The flesh
Wearing a tant amount,
of lies and morals
As babies blankets
While our flesh
prays pleasure
And our eyes
Hold lies
Living under black rainbows
and broken hearts
Loose tongues and
tight spots
Our lot

Courtesans
We

Me~A

Mar 2017

Darkly

Seriously Curious

"You know that time--it's different for everyone--when it gets so late that you start laughing at your own terrible humor? When you get buttery?"

"I mean, I'm talking about when you're home alone and making that 1am macaroni and cheese, and one of your precious hairs falls into the near-boiling water... So you quick-as-an-ice-ninja reach down and pluck that piece of blasphemous fiber from your brew of sustenance while shouting 'DANGEROUS PLAYS'"

sigh

"And then you toddle on over to Jell-O Pottery thinking you should sling your half-kneaded clay in people's faces."

"Goodness gracious."

Oh beloved, it is sorrow until you return to me.

#easypeasy #macnchessey #lemonsqueezy