Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that doesn't mean I wear black makeup. I don't wear contrasting black eyeliner upon white foundation. I've already contrasted myself enough from the rest of society.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that doesn't mean I cut my wrists with razor sharp blades. I don't create lines because that lets people scan my red barcode, only further proving that they own me.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that does not mean I want to guzzle all the bleach I can. I don't want to corrode my physical insides as much as others have corroded my spiritual insides.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No that doesn't mean I want to hang myself from a ceiling fan. That would only break my neck, only adding to the number of wounds from the countless times people have beaten me down with their words.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that does not mean in a life or death situation, I will just lay down and accept my inevitable demise.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that doesn't mean I want to die. That means I'm not afraid of death.

I am not going to **** myself
I am not going to **** myself
There is no pain
I'm okay
I am not going to **** myself
*Please don't let me **** myself

My mind wanders,
As my body longs to stay put,
To sleep,
Load the batteries up

My depression stops by to say hi,
Remind me of everything hard,
Tells me I'm not good enough,
That nothing matters,
Or make sense anyway

As I try to close my eyes,
Forget the pain,
And break through the chain,
I'm chained so hard that I can't get through...

I can't breathe properly,
I can't close my eyes,
I can't relax,
I can't smile

All I can is cry,
Feel hopeless,
Scared,
Worthless,
Alone,
Dead.

"What's the point?" goes on repeat in my head,
I try to make it stop
But it won't shut up,
It won't leave me alone.

It makes me wonder how you know,
How you can,
And why you always want to bring me down.
You come to me in my weakest moment,
When I can't escape,
When there's nowhere to hide,
Noone to hug,
Noone to confide in.

Why do these moments never stop?
Why will it continue in an evergoing everlasting loop?

You tell me there is so much to live for,
As I try to see it,
Try to break free,
The chain holds me captive in my own negativity,
It feeds me just more and more,
Till everything I see, feel and hear is darkness,
Everything I breathe is poison, everything I eat is death and everything I drink is blood.

Only love can save me now,
But then again, what is really love?
What is love? Real love?
How do you know?
"If you know, you know" they say
But is it for everyone?

These are the nights that ****** my being,
The nights that make me lose all hope I ever collected,
The nights that make me lose my will to survive,
The nights that **** me.

I have had better nights and probably will,
If not these nights take over,
Then I don't know if I'll be able to see the light
that awaits in the other end,
Because when all you feel, see, hear is darkness, how can you imagine to feel, see, hear the light?
And how can you be able to wait when your current state is unbearable?

Tonight I just can't sleep,
I can't shut off and dream,
I can just lay awake and feed on misery,
Just one of those nights...
Those nights that are all dark,
not just because the sun is gone,
But hope and all life too.

I need someone to come save me from the darkness.

There's a barbed wire encasing your heart
no broken parts need to be held together by it
the silent sound of blood trickling down my arm
the harm I've done to myself led to no result,
like a knife in a cult I am covered in blood
and the blood I bled barely seemed to move you.
This was usual because the barbed wire ribcage
has kept your heart safe but has also kept it safe.

There's a barbed wire encasing your heart
and I promise I wil let the wires break
but never mistake it for your heart.

There's a barbed wire encasing your heart
not meant to keep things in but to keep things out,
to keep doubt on the realities of love,
to feed enough companionship in loneliness.

I am a moth chasing a flame,
you're burning me every second-
but there's no second guessing
that I am drawn to you.
I am a moth chasing a flame,
I might crumble to ash and dust,
to nothing but charred remains,
yet I still won't ever change.
I am a moth chasing a flame,
like a desert chasing the rain,
like a cloud chasing a plane,
like a needle chasing a vein.

I am a moth chasing a flame.

I made myself the ink
that you chose to write your love;
I made myself the pen
that you labelled was never enough.

I became the paper
that you wrote a love letter for someone else
And I couldn't hear my voice
As I let the feelings cage in, begging for help.

I became the pages
that you wrote a different story on
And I've been hurt by you
but I have no idea where the sorries are gone.

You never wrote about us
you wrote about him, about her, about Earth
But nowhere am I in words
and I ventured on to find my own worth.

I went a little too far...
and became mere playthings in your life...
I went a little too far...
and now I'm lost without a guiding light...
I went a little too far...
and I don't know how to feel alright.
I went a little too far...
a little too far, reaching out for you.
I went a little too far...
a little too far, drowned in an ocean of blue.

'Just delete me'
Your number still taunting me
your voice still haunting me.
If it was only that easy
To forget a past, forget a life
Forget a name, forget a light,
It wasn't easy at all.
I've been tempted to scroll down
Find your name and hit call
But I've been scared of what to say
And curtain draws on another day
Yet I still haven't said a word to you.

Your number and name screams
'Just delete me'
But I always choose to live in heartbreak
Regret my mistakes
And keep your number and name
in my phone.

'Just delete me'
Your number and name screams
But I'm too scared of forgetting you...