I have never cried a river
but I am not untouched by grief
that wounding, ripping away all zest
the doubt, the terrible doubt
lost in the land of belonging nowhere.

the leaving to journey onward
and the journey is the thing
a traveller of seasons
the same and never the same
ordered chaos, chaotic order
ever moving always leaving

How dark and long the night
Growing up in the care
Of you, my mother
Unstable and violent
With fists as fast as your hair-trigger temper
I was very young when I learned to take a punch
And fly across a room with the best of them

But you taught me to read before I started school
And you read Dickens to me for hours
Igniting my love of words and stories
But even then
The storm could crash at any time
"What a quiet, well-behaved little boy.
Isn't he shy?"

But the worst thing you ever did to me
You told a lie as big as the moon
You said that my real father, the gypsy
Was dead
When I met him, in my teens
The world lurched slightly
And never went back to normal
And the worst thing is
I was still too scared to call you a liar

                                              By Phil Roberts

Sometimes I feel
I give & give
My love, my wisdom
It's how I live
But some people, they
Just take & take
They **** me dry
With their heartache

I boost them up
Tell them they're fine
Encourage them
I'm their lifeline
When times are tough
When life is hard
I rally round
Love unbarred

But where are they
When I'm feeling down
They're just not here
They've all left town
I say I'm blue
I'm lost, I'm sad
I need a hug
I'm feeling bad

But they don't respond
To my plea
My hopelessness
They can not see
They do not care
Or can not cope
With my despair
There is no hope

I guess I need
To walk away
For my self worth
I can not stay
It can't go on
It has to change
I need to find
Some exchange

I'm not unkind
I just want to feel
That they'll give it back
That they'll be real
And understand
They can't just take
Because
Eventually
I'll

B r e a k

(C) Pixievic

Speared by humiliation

Burst bubble
ego de-ballooned

From desolation row
give out the
phoenix call and fly

Flapping through the flames

That's me in the middle
In the middle of the world
Just as everyone else
Is in the centre of their's
And we'll never meet
Or even live in the same climate
A thousand miles to west or east
And yet
By the grace of various miracles
Your words may move me
And hopefully, mine will move you
To defy distance and differences

                                                    By Phil Roberts

Peaceful
That's what I am without you
Like a star-studded chandelier
I am swinging, swaying
Not breaking or betraying
And I will not plead for you

Radiant
That's what I am without you
Like a million fireflies in the dark
I am glowing, gleaming
Not shouting or scheming
And I will not plead for you

Dead crushed flowers,
tear stained cheeks.

My heart is in pieces,
my love has ceased.

For I care no more,
love feels as waste.

Your name on my tongue,
brings bad taste.

My happiness will grow again,
as flowers will blossom,
and tears will dry.