Looked in the mirror. Into my own eyes. "Do I know you..? Do I.. Really know you?".. Hazel to steely gray.. My god.. Did I throw it all away?

9 to Five

No sleep, real talk, my years behind me daily on the hunt they stalk me into today throughout each passing tommorrow its left me bound by sorrow so be honest with yourself as you read these words as if they were bound by fate in a book of broken memories soul restrained sanity entertained by necessity for survival but my nights release facts, my hand guided by pen dispensing sound through words of lost years lived in fear as I write blind-sidingly haunted by my own sentiments living bound safe in lies to avoid my demise I see this in our eyes gotta get wise and reverse the clock its ticking counter-clockwise but still pressing foward dressing my soul for a journey toward Who, What, When, and Where so thanks for the thoughts but I've been Here and I been There the fabric of my life has suffered its share of tears as surely as any other smiling by day crying by night I wanna give up n' just whiteflag this fight but this fight is life so despite being sick fearful of strife..

I turn my eyes to the light. Blind me, bind me, find me, remind me..

That I too once could love..
But it fell apart..
Heart unbound I wanna scream but can make no sound..

Gotta face the light..

I gotta stop this fight..

I will live and do my best to give but on the last day whenever it may be..

I wonder..

Would I relive this life again as myself..?

...Or perish the thought?

Alarm clock, ticktock, guess living this way is considered "alive"..

Off I go..

To work my 9 to Five..

Born with a true heart. Raised within love. Torn apart I find myself reachin to past the skys above. Drowned in love a bright visage turned cold 25 so young yet my image so shaken a fickle soul with time on my side but my eyes are my truth, my wisdom, and downfall my efforts boring, my trying old.. A downfall for all who look within me.. My facade will not hold..

Hatred within me for those thrown aside.. This earth in a process of a slow suicide you run to lies but what you truly despise is these mistruths in your eyes all mirrors comfort with these lies it's just a slow demise..

From yourself its so futile.. You cannot hide.. This is earth, humanity, and us. Mired in slow suicide.. We try to escape but we are our own fate..

You can never escape..

Submit and be you as love turns a gray hue.. I thought I was a saint as did you but hey, Mr. Devil guess we are just like you..

We are lonely, we are lost, the young hearts of hope torn asunder..

Born into this world as it all falls apart.. Hope so weak but I must push on..

Refresh on a killed heart..

Shattered..

Torn apart..

Poetry must rhyme.. We do it all the time. Felt restricted these sentiments in rhymes but in hearts no form exists to express the extent of the effect of time on a human mind confined.. Poetry must rhyme.. I can't feel alone anymore.. So not this time..

Its a bird!.. Its a plane!.. No.. its the sky falling while the world rises. Drinking coffee.. but why can't it be something else?

Oh yea.. No money no home in a world abundant with resources heh forgot about that..

Drinkin' coffee.. Need to do so..

Tonight drinking something a lil more tequila-ish..

Yeah I am running from my problems. You bet your existence I am.

Just look in a mirror before you judge. We all were happy once..

Its when you lose something beyond value you truly cherish that you begin to just.... change..

Money isn't my problem. Because I prioritize keepin' it flowin' I stop it from becoming one..

Its me thats the problem..

My nights are music and tears then sleep(if I am lucky)

I guess its realizing that I am not alone that hurts..

Always walls closing in on me. They are made of glass.. Yet somehow..

I remain so invisible.. Become colder.. As if Im becoming the very walls I feel like I am suffocating behind..

Someone.. Anyone..

Find my hopes and dreams.. Take aim at me with them as a sorrow-sharpened arrow..

And shatter me..

Poetry must rhyme.. I can't feel alone anymore.. So not this time.. The sorrow in mirror-reflected eyes is not only yours but mine.. And yes.. It tortures me.. All of the time..

Savor sorrow despite nights feeling forever as lessons need be learned. Favor feeling what is real.

Fallen apart we fickle hearts are within ourselves pride is the genesis of the mindset we set willingly as a sworn nemesis.. Fear not the maimed resolute mind of one who has built lives of love via selflessness til no resources remained..

Only know we have felt ourselves fall. Fought to lose it all..

Built stability to witness what we have made real fly through hells until pain of impact forces us off course.

Good intentions are the vessel of our pain soaring flawlessly but rushing to find happiness far too fast.. This wayward vessel of ours always crashes..

And burns to ashes..

Can't sleep. Love and hate this silence. Give me a storm to drown in raindrops with. Falling asleep to lightning to drown out the dark..




But still.. with respect to it..


Leaving me with crashing thunder to dream with.. Feel with..

I'll embrace even a storm for comfort in preference to this silent pitch-cold hope-dark nothingness.