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I made up my mind and now
I'm going out
Of my mind.
If I should want

let it not exceed

the number of fingers

on my one hand
 Oct 2021 Christian Bixler
Brett
Set your sights out west, my friend
And know that on your back
Will always rest the dawn. Follow not
These golden roads paved by fools
Where every toll asks payment from
The only treasure one would hate to lose.
Pull the reigns on your hurried pace, and
Sing to silence when it calls your name.
Am I not more

the cause of my own suffering

than that occasioned by

others or any other human being?
 Oct 2021 Christian Bixler
Ayesha
Strike— bare, boastful light.
Snakelike, your silver serenity
Strike with firm, flaunting fatality
Surrender then, to specks flush-light.
Split asunder, your thriving fragility
Shuddering then, a humble complexity
Shimmering so lovingly bright.
Spin I the crystals; your dancing simplicity
Simplicity— oh, so generous in its creativity
Scarce old stars rather I,
                       than sun’s lifeless white.
20/10/2021

I keep thinking: it must be painful for the mighty rays of sun to be broken to bits by the sun-catcher that shines by my window. Yet, the patterns that form through the process are so overwhelmingly beautiful.
There must be some beauty in the pain that comes through bravery.

There's a saying in Urdu - my mother tongue - which goes like this:
کچھ سوچ کے شمع پہ پروانا جلا ہو گا
شاید اسی جلنے میں جینے کا مزا ہو گا

Which roughly translates to:
"The moth must've thought something before it leapt into the flames
Perhaps it was that burning where the true flavour of living lay

Honestly, I so wish the translation could do justice to how beautiful that verse is in our language. The first time I heard it, it just took my breath away.
I'll hold faithfully to silence

words -they don't solace confer-

the heart feels its mysterious radiance

the truth of life it will richly discover
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