Chris Park

Chris Park Dec 2020

There's a storm inside me
Where my heartbeat crashes like the thunder across my chest , with the water from my eyelids pouring as the rain comes to take over. It’s the lightning thats scattering throughout my mind as if Zeus is condemned with a constant rage.
Where the wind takes over my fingertips to write these imperfect letters on cold open page.

it's hard to explain how is it that I miss you
when I've never really had you in the first place
and you wouldn't understand
you see
your heart has long forgotten about feelings like these.

still

I hear your voice calling my name
I see you before my eyes
even in my dreams I write about you , where I’m still lost in the time.
and in my waking hours
your smile brings raindrops in my coffee
and tears on the shirt I wear
because once you said that you liked it;

spring brings tulips at my doorstep
but it's hard to feel their perfume
to let their scent in my broken lungs;

people tell me that all I have to do
is breathe

but it's hard to breathe without crying.

Chris Park Jan 2019

Truly wish you the best

We went from talking everyday to strangers.
From goodmorning texts to a forever goodbye.
I cant even say I miss you, because I dont know if I do.
I wasted my time and emotion, and it's what I hate.
A habit that never seems to end.
I just cant seem to find the right one.
Maybe it's me that is lost

Chris Park Jan 2017

A Different Shade of Blue

She's the girl you read about in books,
The one with a happy ending.
An intelligient mind,
With a heart that's still mending.

She's the girl you'll wish to meet,
The one that's worth trying.
A strong steady spirit,
With a perseverance that's never dying

She's the girl that's truly special
The diamond within the stones,
One who is worth listening to,
The music to your headphones.

She's the girl who will inspire
The success story no doubt,
The chapters in a book,
You'll read to your kids about.

Shes the girl that brings smiles,
Something so bright and new.
A happier life's to come ,
With this different shade of blue .

Inspired by a new friend , a warm soul , and an open heart

Chris Park Sep 2016

A torn stitch, a broken needle

I tried my best this time I really did!
To start all over and try to feel happiness again.
But just like that, life dragged me down.
Leaving me  empty and useless
For what's a king without a crown?
A new beginning that came to an end
Trying to hold in the demons,
so my heart can finally  mend.

Yet I'm just a slave of a constant depression
a body with no soul,  dripping teardrops of perfection.
I hoped for a chance but I was just given a fate,
relying on the bottle and taking the pills for a date .

I'm racing my life down,
Leaving with traces of evil
Theres no point in trying
when your left with
a stitch and a broken needle.

#depression #sorry #givingup

Chris Park May 2016

Stop the rain

I have to imagine these thoughts of us being back together,
but its never the same .
You are already happy again with someone else,
But why can't I change?
It seems so unfair how easy it is for you to let go and not me ,
I just wish I'd never met you
then my heart wouldn't be melting.
I just wish I could forget you
and let you go and close the chapter to our book,
But every photo of you brings back the memories we once had, and all the times they were all took.
But I just wanna forget them now,
Cause it feels like I'm the only one in pain.
I just wanna forget us now,
Cuz I no longer want it to rain .

#love #broken #sad #hate #depressed

Chris Park Apr 2016

Pull The Trigger

Put a bullet in my skull, maybe two or three.

I'm  tired of all the excuses  and lies, that you made me believe.

I wish you were out of my life already, but I also wish we just met.
but why do you keep giving me hope we'd be together again, then dropping me like a finished cigarette.

I try my best not to look at a text, that comes from your  name.
Cause ever since you've left me, I can't read them the same.

I just want to let you go,
and forget all we had
and whatever could've been.
I mean,  why do you always ask me what could've been
when you were the one who broke us apart to begin.

I just can't take much longer of your fake innocence and lies
I just wish you'd let me be
everyone keeps thinking I'm the wrong one, but you're the one they don't bother to see.

Yet I never cared what others thought, and never will I ever,
cause they don't know what it feels like, to lose what you thought you'd have forever.

Because forever and always, was what we always said after our I love you's.
but now your happy with another guy, while I'm lost singing the blues.
I wish you'd get out of my head so I can finally be free.

Better yet,
just put a bullet in my skull, maybe two or three.

#love #broken #depressed #heartbroken #angry #upset

Chris Park Apr 2016

A Floating Anchor

The chains wrapped around my body seem to get tighter every day.
The thriving sensation in my chest never seems to go away.
The stones attached to my feet, aim to drag me down lower.
I can't even scream for help, cause the waters getting colder.
I try to remember what it was like, to be able to breathe on my own
but the weights that are sewn into me, continuously have grown.
The shackles on my wrist feel like wet concrete in the sun
My blood flow has stopped, and the feeling is numb.
I don't know how to explain myself, when people ask me what's wrong
I just look and say nothing, with a smile to go along
but really I'm not sure, and I haven't found the right answer
I'm just tired of living and wish death would come faster
I"m slowly going under the harder I'm thinking
Trying to find a way to keep myself from slowly sinking.
My body wants to break free , but it's my mind that's not allowing
maybe it's best if i just give in, I mean I'm already drowning.

#love #broken #lonely #hate #depressed #breaking