Sitting and drinking drinking drinking
Take a sip of lonesomeness here
A sip of shyness there
Drinking drinking drinking

Standing alone and drinking drinking drinking
Taking gulps of not being good enough here
Gulps of failure there
Drinking drinking drinking

Running from every shadow and drinking drinking drinking
Chugging a 40 oz of death here
Chugging what happens beyond death there
Drinking drinking drinking

Drunk on my own fears
Haven't drank a single beer
Every fear prevents something great from happening to me
An alcoholic is what I am

Excuses, excuses-
They run through my mind
The circumstances aren't right
I'll do it next time

The time was running low
The sand slipping away
So I told you I loved you
In the last days of May

You told me you felt the same
Though it didn't show
The entire summer you left me
Feeling weary and hallow

I waited for you
To sit down and stay
Tomorrow, tomorrow
But never today

Eyes like ravens of the sun
Lips that beat my heart
Body finer then all of the diamonds
Hair that tempted Lucifer from heaven to touch

A Laugh that the birds could not compete
Even her cute little one dimple makes you want to
wage a war in her name
I have never believed in love but if anyone could make me believe,
It would be her


But what drives you most crazy about this woman is her soul
Deep within the bones melted inside of the city of her
Is just so perfect like when you find a 100 dollar
Bill unexpectedly and you just

Can't

Stop

Smiling

Learn to focus on the book
Chris whats that you are looking for
Focusing on the worlds big hook
Time to look for a different door

Knocking knocking all day long
Chris its time to go for a walk
Always knocking on the wrong
Walk and walk but nobody wants to talk

Every door every mistake
Chris you are so smart don't you see
Nothing left here to take
Blind is what I may be

If I could just get over myself
And put effort in everything else
Maybe then I wouldn't want to wall up
And scream until the hair under my arms spit
Venom into my lungs to make me afraid
Afraid of the fear of going away from the insanity
That lays inside my brain

Touch the spoils of me
Such few feel left
kids in africa have a worse life then you so quit CRYING
The verbal knives she throws into me
Seemed to have bore all the fun away
Why don't you LOVE me anymore
she asks me in such a tone sending guilt through the hair on my toes
meanwhile she denounces me at every corner
this is NOT good enough
it never was good enough not even the straight As
the hours I spent trying to make her happy again were never good enough
you are so LAZY just like your father
those words have stinged my teeth and wrapped braces of anger around
its not my fault I was born like him
Chris what is WRONG with you
I cannot figure this out mom as to why im so different
maybe i was born wrong god had chose me to live beyond understanding
stop playing the VICTIM oh poor chris his life is terrible
i grew up the victim of your disgrace and tears
the victim is the only thing I know I am
stop crying and be a MAN
only existing knowing words of my failures none of my successes
how else is a 15 year old supposed respond
you don't have any FRIENDS
mom i had reinvented myself for you
and yet you cannot even think of me
I am just a terrible MOTHER
no mom you are not terrible
its all my fault