If I put myself inside your shoes then I'd hate me too
It seems I got nothing to lose, since I already lost you

If everything we shared together had no meaning
Then I’m a heartless, soulless ***** who has no feelings

I know you think that way, I know you think it’s true
That I’m a deeply damaged person, and that I never loved you

I would gladly fight and argue
if I had a mind to

Though I may be damaged
my love for you is is true

She was my first love.  I wasn't her's.  She loved to lead me on and tease me.

So like an infected limb, I cut her off.

a very long time passed, my wounds healed, she texted me out of the blue.

I've never been good at resisting siren songs, even when I know of the dangers awaiting on the shore

Last night we met up for the first time in five years

We started out with drinks
at a bar in my neighborhood

She ordered us 3 rounds of tequila shots

More than the alcohol
Her smile makes me buzz

When she laughs it's like hearing an old forgotten favorite song

It was a cold and dreary night, but in her eyes I found a Hawai'ian sunset

After drinks
we went back to my place

This girl owns a key to my heart
She let herself right in and made herself at home

It was raining and muddy
and she tracked her mud inside

Doesn’t she know how long it takes to clean mud stains?

I just barely got her last ones out.

Now she’s gone again

I’m left with a muddy home
and that same empty feeling that I thought I had seen the last of

I wish I knew how to change the locks on my heart
so I could keep her out.

Loneliness is a tricky mistress

Sometimes she makes me feel worthless and miserable
Like an apple fallen off the orchard tree, rotting in the October sun

Sometimes we dance alone for hours
stepping in harmony with the unimpeded freedom of my whims

Loneliness knows no jealousy
No matter how long we stay apart

She always awaits me at the door of my studio apartment

Some days she is a welcomed companion

Others she is a home invader

I know we’ll dance forever
I just hope I can learn all of the steps

Dyin' doesn’t feel good
livin ain’t great either

I think about a sunny place
To keep a calm demeanor

I drink some ***** to take me there
The **** can help out too

But nothing makes my sun shine brighter
Than when I’m loving you

Once you left, I took what we had and buried it in a wooden box in the backyard of my childhood home

Who’d of thought that I’d see you again?

I dug it up, hoping to find things as I left them.

What I remembered as a spectacle of vibrant color
had become faded and dull like an old kids toy.

I picked it up, examined it, and tried to wipe off the dirt,
but it crumbled into dust and fell through my hands.

I’m sorry my love. We have nothing left to share.

To think of the countless hours we spent in intimate conversation

The times when I heard you giddy with excitement
The times where sadness leaked out from behind your words

Your voice could feel like a warm blanket on a cold night
as well as it could feel like a dead winter's breeze

We laughed, we cried, and we sang in the car
When we made love your moans would dance through the air

But now when I think of your voice
I can't hear you anymore