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i am that child
the apple of a man's eyes
i misbehave sometimes

i am that child
the one that will never grow up
the one that will always be wild

i am that child
the lover of your youth nights
the lover beneath the sheets

i am that child
i love with eyes blind
the one that loves with ears closed
stubborn mourning lover

the one the lover the child
the one that begs to love her one more time
"what does she have that i dont?"
I imagined asking, I imagined calling hours after the fact and letting you hear me squirm out muffled cries,
the grey area between please, please no and thank you for doing this now

"what does she have that I don't?"
I imagined asking, I imagined calling and begging you to give me a better reason why I wasn't enough to show you that you deserve so, so much better, that you deserve to not be a wreck, but I stopped.

"what does she have that I dont?"
I realized, in that inexplicable grey area between want and loss, there is one and only one thing she has that I never will,

you
 Jan 2015 Chloe lanari
Gwen
I was taught to believe that your body meant nothing.
So I gave every part of it to people I never cared about.
I let their hands wander
I let them do whatever.

In a way I liked feeling wanted,
Even if it was only for 20 minutes in the back of a car
Or rushed before parents came home.

I was content with being used
I was content with being temporary

But deep down,
All I wanted was to be loved.

I wanted someone to want more for more than my body,
To tell me they loved me,
Rather than they lusted for me.

I gave up on being loved,
Accepting that I was just a toy
That I was only worth my body

Till someone came along
They told me they loved me
They told me they cared about me
They meant every word they said

They kissed me softly
And touched me with the lights on
We held hands
And we fell in love
Sorry if this is horrific and too long

— The End —