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Celia Elliot Dec 2014
She wasn’t another outsider at all.
My brief time with her
Taught me how it felt not to be
So desperately alone.
She turned out to feel the same way.
If I let myself,
I could fall into the traps of letting them decide
Who and what I am.
The two of us were drawn well together.
Lingering curiosity about what I had glimpsed
In my dreams months before.
The risk was terrible,
Although I kept fantasizing I saw her
My imagination was playing cruel tricks
Now I’m stained with her blood
In the shape of a cross.
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
The darkness, he called night
And darkness was over the face of the earth
Where are you?
I was afraid.
He said, “I will multiply your pain,
Vengeance shall be taken.”
All flesh died,
The waters prevailed.
The intention of man’s heart is evil.
What is this you have done to me?
Dreadful and great darkness fell upon him.
But I cannot escape to the hills,
Lest the disaster overtake me and I die.
Let me escape and my life will be saved.
Will you **** an innocent people?
Bury your dead.
Let your curse be on me.
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
I could never forget
Memories, here to stay
The melody of our love
Running through my veins
Star crossed lovers, we’ve always been
And so it will always stay
Though I cannot have you,
Your name has been written on my heart
Engraved in immovable ink
Forever here to stay
You occupy my mind’s open spaces
Every waking thought
Ever present in my dreams
Your love has touched my heart
Made an unfading imprint in my life
Though you may not be with me ever again
Your light, your presence is here to stay
Celia Elliot Jan 2015
“I’m a horrible person”
She said with a smile
With a smile in her eyes
In her eyes he could see
He could see the truth
The truth of her soul
Her soul so darkly beautiful

“You’re a horrible person”
He said with a whisper
With a whisper that carried
That carried to the edge
The edge of the world
The world disintegrating
Disintegrating her soul

“You’re both horrible”
Said the world with a cry
With a cry from within
From within came a fire
A fire that burned
That burned with passion
With passion they died
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
The fiery heat your touch gives off when our bodies meet.
Never in my life did I think I’d find you.
Sweet separation from the rest of the earth.
I love you, I’ll say it again and again.
When I stare into your eyes, I am content.
Not a care is to be given
About other men
Since I found you
My heart is made whole again.
All I need is you and your touch
Your body and soul is more than enough.
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
You’ve seen me from the beginning
You’ve been witness to the creation of a monster.
I was born as a creature of the Night.
I’d never laid eyes on light.
Scarcely visible through the smoke,
I wandered around looking for Hope.
Hope, only a thing I’ve heard, never seen.
Something I imagine could wash me clean.
Rid me of my evil stains
Cleanse me of my secret shame.
Through the darkness, I saw the light
It was so strange, so unknown
So exquisite how the glimmer shone.
Fear overcame my curious soul,
But my thirst for knowledge
Conquered the whole.
I rushed to discover the glint of light
Forgetting the cautiousness,
Forgetting the fright.
The sliver of light grew and grew
Until no more darkness I knew.
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
When I look in the mirror,
It’s not what you’d think.
What I see is the Monster in me.

The Monster in me,
Waiting to come out.
Screaming, “Set me free! Set me free!”

You’ll never know when you look at me
I’m trying to contain the beast.
Rattle the cage, pick the lock, “Set me free! Set me free!”

Not some kind of Jekyll and Hyde
More than a masquerade.
Happy on the outside, raging on the inside.

Beating on the doors of my heart.
Don’t anger me, I’ll set free
The Monster in me.

“Just let me out”
“It won’t hurt”
“Set me free! Set me free!”
this was the first poem I wrote that I actually thought was goodish
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
The morning fog dissipates
As it rolls from my mouth
The skulls never say yes
They try to sabotage my path
Crashing trees inside of my head
Echoes bouncing off the walls
Voices drive me to trudge through the darkness
Particles of light reflecting in the fog
My only source of sight
The voice of El Valiente guides me
Would trusting be a good decision?
El Valiente leads my soul
Dancing to an unholy melody
The deceptive truth sparks a revelation
My heart’s on fire like a sparkler
Fueled by a truthful lie
When will I wake from this beautiful nightmare?
Do I even desire consciousness?
Do I love this, or do I fear?
Unable to articulate dread,
One sees no cause,
Assumes no end.
To avoid all manners of judgment,
This is my belief.
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
Will I forever carry this sadness with me?
Will it forever stream through my veins?
Will the sadness die the day I die,
Or will it continue on even then?

I exhale the sadness
And watch
As it slowly makes its way back
To be inhaled once more.

It’s in my lungs
It’s in my brain
It’s in my heart
It’s in my veins

Creeping up from my fingertips
Spiraling around my arms
Melting into my skin

After all this time
(it’s been so long)
it is now a part of me
as death is a part of life
and night is a part of day.
Celia Elliot Dec 2014
Welcome to my funeral.
I dug my grave,
Buried myself in you.
I saw the caution signs
Yet kept moving towards you.
Ignoring the warnings
Blinded by lust.

I tried to drag you down
Down into my casket.
I tried to make you drown
‘Cause I knew we’d never outlast it,
We’d never escape our fate.
I saw the end from the start
Never thought I could break my heart.

All this was just a plan
Simply a hoax
To make you choke.
Yet somewhere in this scheme
I fell for you and left everything.
It was only meant to be a pretense
But the feelings I had for you grew so intense.

I began to love you, despite these lies.
There was so much trust inside of your eyes.
I couldn’t stand to hurt you anymore
Someone so amazing mustn’t be with such a *****.
I went to rest inside of my coffin
‘Cause I saw my heart starting to soften.


My ribs are crumbling
Crushing my lungs,
My lungs filling with dirt
As I shovel to fill the hole.
My chest is caving in
Who knew it would be so hard to breathe
So hard to breathe without you.

— The End —