I think something went wrong when I was made
like God skipped a stitch and left
part of me gaping open and
when I was eight I found that thread and out of
sophomoric curiosity I started tugging
look at me now
a mess of tattered strips of fabric
all tangled up in the thread
that was supposed to hold me together
and sometimes I get it in my head
that someone will come along and
fix me
but that's never quite how it seems to work
because I was sick the day
everyone else got scissors
and so when I expect affection
I get rejection
and the cold snip, snip, snip
of the parts of me they want to take
and now there's not much left
underneath the pretty face
just tangled thread
and a graveyard of a heartbeat

You tried to take my hand.
Although I yearned for your touch - I had to push you away.
I had to let you know somehow that though I had given you another chance, I hadn't completely forgiven you yet.

And it hurt me more than you did, for us to be distant.
My hands felt empty.
My lips felt dry and cracked - though I knew they weren't - as if they needed yours.
My body felt as if I was covered in burn wounds, as if your body was the healing balm I needed.
But couldn't get.

What kind of friends don't even care when you want to **** yourself?
Love you guys too.

With all the things on my chest, I can hardly breathe
With all the things in front of me, I can hardly see
But it’s easy to see that my emotions get the better of me
Can’t help but admit I let love get the better of me
My heart tears kinda easy, believe me
Your words cut deep, and I bleed immediately
If I die, know that my heart still beats for you
Still wanting to find a spiritual connection with you
But you’re connected with another soul
Another whole mess I put my heart in
So to hell with the love that I put my heart in
Me and the leftover pieces of my being
Will try to make the most of being a human being

Before I knew you
my life was empty and incomplete
there was a hole, a void that seemed to forever go on

the day we met
I felt down and out
nowhere to go
no one to love me
I often cried myself to sleep thinking
I'll never be good enough, pretty enough
smart enough,
those things will never describe me in anyway
but out of nowhere
you lifted my head and said
none of those things were ever good enough to describe me
and good enough they never will be
the day we got together
you made me feel special, wanted, pretty and loved
however, there was still something missing
Then you left me
and I felt as if my whole world died that day
I went back to moping and doubting myself
until I lifted my head
and saw what you saw all along
you could fly the entire time
you just needed the support
although you may feel useless and down
always remember
I believed in you
even when you thought
that you couldn't fly
your wings were always there
you just needed help
finding the wind

when he left
it was as if
someone had
flattened my veins
and poured my
blood
into the ocean,

because i cannot
shower
or drink
or swim;

i can only
drown
in the metallic
taste
of my own plasma
creating a new
universe
without me