Hour 20:
The white walls soffocating me,
I'm a walking zombie
and a hero wannabe.

The background sounds
beep, beep, beep
and I just wanna sleep.

I have a worried mother
whose child has fever,
and a not-so-hurt drunk driver
that tonight became a killer.

A 40 year old that's been coughing a few days
and thought of coming to the ER at 4am
because, hey, they are probably not so busy anyways.

I like my job,
and I love saving lives,
but God knows I have to put in order mine.

A heart has stopped in bed number nine,
chest compressions and meds don't make it beat,
I don't want to, but I gotta call it.

A teenager needs stitches,
she's making a mess,
apparently her scar is more important than anyone else.

A few more hours and I can go home,
time is passing slowly.
*Hey, look! There is the sun!

I would never play
I can't believe the nerve of you
to let that lie away.
After I begged at you to go
if your feelings weren't true,
Please don't hurt me,
I'm being honest here,
if you don't love me
I'm asking you to leave.
But you insisted
and I gave in,
you got what you wanted
and changed in a bit.
I'm sorry, I think we should stop
you were right and I was wrong,
but don't worry, you are cool
I bet you'll find a good guy soon
After chasing me for months
suddenly, you didn't love me *that much.
So naive of me to fall in love with you.

"Do you smoke?" you asked
as you let a gray cloud drift away from your mouth.
"No" I said quetly, ashamed that you might think I wasn't cool.
I avoided giving you that speech about dying soon.
You stayed quiet and inhaled from that toxic stick one last time
and pressed your lips gently onto mine.
I tasted the Marlboro's on your tongue
and became addicted to smoking from your kiss.

The worst kind of jelousy is the one you have to keep.
Swallow all the anger, like a poison burning in.
Here's a tip:
To keep the tears from falling down inhale very deep and many times.
With my hands so hard in a fist that my own nails are hurting me,
and knowing I can't let it all out because you are not mine.
The hardest part is that everytime you are with her
I have to fake a smile and say "I'm fine".

Lately, nostlagia has been invading the air,
everybody is trying to make their "lasts anythings" special
and I'm wishing you were all here to share it.
I spend nights looking at the sky to see if there's a sign of you up there,
asking hoplesly on shooting stars that I can see you again.
God knows you left me too soon.
I just hope, in spite all my mistakes, that I've made you proud too.

Either this is the beginning of my journey with you to heaven
or I'm about to be dragged through the mud
wishing I had never fallen for the spell or your eyes
or the deep sound of your voice.

Have you ever wondered how a bullet does its damage?
How something so small can be so threatening?
The way it enters the body is not the same way it exits.
The entrance is small, insignificant even,
but then it burns everything inside and comes out leaving a big hole.
Just like you.
Straight in,
giving me no time to duck or hide,
making a mess inside
and leaving what will become a scar on your way out.
And that's just in case I make it out alive.