little drummer boy play your rhythm on my spine
let me be your snare, make music out of me
little drummer boy it’s been a long and lonely winter
and the heartbeat of your drum has got me through the coldest nights
little drummer boy oh won’t you bruise me with your drumsticks
break my bones and tear my skin, break my entire world apart
little drummer boy play your rhythm on my ribcage
leave my pale pink skin black and blue and purple and red
little drummer boy oh won’t you break me into pieces
for all i am to you is an instrument to be played

i’ve forgotten how to smile
as my lips curve upward there is nothing but cynicism behind them
the air that flosses through my teeth is stale and bitter
for i have turned stale and bitter
i used to be optimistic
but i’ve forgotten how to hope
my tears fall but i feel nothing but emptiness
my fingers and toes grew numb
for i have grown numb
i used to imagine a world where you and i could be together
but i’ve forgotten how to dream
in my world we were queen and king
but our empire has fallen
for i have fallen
i was so young when i fell for you
i didn’t understand i was falling
until i hit the ground
but now i’m buried in the shallow dirt
and you dance and drum on my spine
i let you break my bones
for my heart broke long ago

for all my life i've lived as the ground beneath your feet
i was the dry, cracked dirt you kicked around
as you shuffled your sneakers in the summer
i was the puddle you jumped in when it rained like hell in the spring
i was the slush that soaked through the holes in your boots
during the worst part of the winter
the crunchy leaves you stepped on once autumn came around

for all my life you’ve been the wind beneath my wings
you were the cool breeze on a summer day
that sent shivers down my spine and gave me release from the sweltering heat
you were the umbrella that protected me when it rained like hell in the spring
you were the soft winter snow that fell on christmas morning,
blanketing the town and dusting the evergreen trees
the aroma of cinnamon in autumn that wafted through the house
and felt like home

for all my life i’ve been the floor, and you the one who floored me
today i swear that i will be the sky

for the first time in a long time i opened up my curtains
and for the first time in a long time I let the light into my room
i spent so long hiding away in the darkness, pretending nothing was wrong
and it's time i let the sunshine illuminate my skin

for far too long I've felt nothing.
my limbs were numb and my heart was empty
tears fell, salty on my flesh
and in their wake there was nothingness

all my life I've lived in the shadows
never allowing the sun to tan my skin,
for fear that it would burn
so I opened up the windows on a freezing winter morning
I let the cold pierce my skin
as the light reflected of the white snow
the winter is blinding, but the sun is still shining
and as the goosebumps form on my pastel skin
I feel warm

I had a dream about loving you.
And in that dream you loved me too.
And that's how I knew, that's how I knew
It was only just a dream.

I had a dream about touching your skin
Breathing you in, breathing you in
I had a dream about love and sin
But it was only just a dream

I dreamt of you just holding me tight
Holding me close in your arms for the night
And everything in this **** world felt right
But it was only just a dream

I had a dream and you were there
But that dream quickly faded into a nightmare
I woke up screaming that the world wasn't fair
It was only just a dream

I had a dream about loving you
And in that dream you loved me too
I knew it was a dream and that's how I knew
'Cause you loving me would be a dream come true

We all start with blank faces.
Ebony or
Ivory or
Olive or
Anything in between.
Skin so dark they don't sell the shade at Sephora.
Skin so light you've got to mix the color with white to make it match.
Whatever the color, it's all the same skin.

We all start with blank faces
Made of cells and covered in blemishes
Stretched thin across our cheekbones
Or hanging loose and wrinkled with age,
With lines on our foreheads like
Punishment
for laughing too much.
When did laughter become such a grievous crime?

We all start with blank faces.
… and then we become Van Gogh.
With expert brush strokes, we paint.
We coat ourselves with thick layers of pastey goop like Elmer's glue
Paint it on thick to cover our blemishes and red spots
We top it off with pigment like powdered sugar on sweets
Not knowing that the more opaque our makeup is, the more transparent.

We all start with blank faces.
… and then we become sculptors
Contouring and contorting to conform to unrealistic standards.
We highlight our best features and conceal the rest.
We conceal the redness of our cheeks just to paint it on again with blush.
We paint wings on our eyes although we'll never fly.

We all start with blank faces.
… and then we become victims of consumerism
Spending our money on different shades of the same **** thing
They raise the prices because they know they'll sell it to us anyway
They force it upon us, then shame us for becoming slaves to it
We are the victims and the perpetrators.

We all start with blank faces
… and then we become artists
… and then we become victims
… and then we become warriors

**This is our war paint.